One night, I got a message from someone younger than me. She asked me, "Are you feel lonely when you are in college?"
I didn't respond to her.
Loneliness is the topic that I long to talk about, yet too afraid to do so. It is a feeling that can never be removed from the deep of my heart. Since I can't avoid it, I accept it. More interestingly, I even attempt to keep myself in that state.
In my opinion, there are four types of loneliness, related to family, friends, lovers and ourselves separately.
As to family, when I go through a rough time, normally I choose to pretend that everything is fine. The faster we grow up, the less closer ties to our family become.
In terms of friends, I restrain myself from getting too attached to them. It is definetely pleasant to hang out with friends, but when I am too attached, I dream of doing everything with them, which is not conducive to my personal development. I understand that there must be something I have to finish myself, so I choose to stay away from my friends and get used to it.
Regarding lovers, it is in special days that I feel lonely, such as Valentine's Day and other holidays. This kind of loneliness cannot be compensated for through having fun with our friends. Obviously, we have our special emotional needs.
Last but not least, the final question we have to confront bravely, that it, how to be reconciled with ourselves. I mean, we all have great expectations for ourselves, yet the reality turns out to be cruel all the time. When we fail to attain our goal, we are desperate and suffocated to death by mountainous resentment and helplessness. No one can rescue us, except for ourselves.
In a word, it is normal to feel lonely. Don't panic.
You are not a freak. You are just an ordinary person.
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