最近，為了鍛煉自己的英語(yǔ)水平，打算不定時(shí)進(jìn)行雙語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作?！讹h》是我最為喜愛(ài)的小說(shuō)之一，這部80萬(wàn)字的小說(shuō)，原版讀過(guò)3遍。對(duì)于喜愛(ài)的書(shū)籍，我總會(huì)多遍幾遍。大學(xué)時(shí)期，從“愛(ài)情”、“人物分析”切入，撰寫(xiě)過(guò)兩篇學(xué)期論文。今天，想以散文的形式，再一次結(jié)合它，來(lái)談點(diǎn)”愛(ài)“的感悟。
中英文都是我所寫(xiě)，一并分享給大家。配樂(lè)是我很喜歡的一首歌，水木年華的《中學(xué)時(shí)代》，他們唱道“愛(ài)是什么，我不知道，我不懂永遠(yuǎn)，我不懂自己......"正好契合我當(dāng)下的心境。
文/溫佛佳
Distinctly, I remember a chilly autumn day when wandering along a street lined by tall trees on both sides, I, almost all of a sudden, was overwhelmed by a strong feeling of sadness and desperation.
我清晰地記得，某個(gè)涼氣逼人的秋日，自己一人沿著一條大街漫無(wú)目地地散步，街道兩旁，行道樹(shù)靜靜矗立著。突然，一股強(qiáng)勁的悲傷與絕望，將我緊緊攫住。
Exactly for what reason, I could not quite figure out at that time, and all I knew was that tears welled up in both my eyes and I struggled violently against the impulse to dial that once so familiar number and begged for his come-back.
至于為何情緒來(lái)襲，那個(gè)當(dāng)兒，我也不甚明白。只記得，淚水充盈了眼眶，我狠狠地想要去抑制那股強(qiáng)烈的沖動(dòng)：去撥打那個(gè)我曾如此熟悉的號(hào)碼，渴求他能回來(lái)。
Well, anyway, I have to tell you the truth at that time I just broke up with a boy I had been planning to spend the rest of my life with. It is just over totally and completely even before I realized it. Forever, he is gone, leaving nothing but my fragmentized heart.
當(dāng)然，得說(shuō)實(shí)話(huà)，那時(shí)候，我剛剛和一個(gè)男孩分手。那個(gè)男孩，我曾打算與他共度余生。但最終，那段持續(xù)了4年的感情，甚至在我還沒(méi)有明白發(fā)生了什么之前，就完全地徹底地結(jié)束了。他永遠(yuǎn)離開(kāi)了，留下我支離破碎的心。
So, at that chilly autumn day, what did haunt me was
a complex and complicated problem, a seemingly annoying problem ---what, to be exact, is love.
因此，在那個(gè)秋風(fēng)料峭的日子，縈繞我心頭的是一個(gè)復(fù)雜而看似惱煩的問(wèn)題——究竟，什么是愛(ài)？
Whenever I cannot find a satisfactory answer to a certain issue in the real life, it is just I who will turn to books I have read for help.
每當(dāng)遇到問(wèn)題，在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活里，我又找不到令人滿(mǎn)意的答案時(shí)，我就總會(huì)去書(shū)本中里去尋覓。
And this kind of love thinking reminds me of one of my favorite novels---GONE WITH THE WIND ---one which can touch me and stir something inside me every time I read it.
那天，對(duì)愛(ài)的思考讓我想起了最喜歡的一本小說(shuō)《飄》。每次讀它，鼓舞感染之余，內(nèi)心都會(huì)被深深觸動(dòng)。
Of course, about this world classic,from different perspectives, different things can be said and analyzed, I,however, have decided to elaborate only according to my understanding, and that is love.
當(dāng)然，對(duì)這本世界名著，從不同的角度切入，讀者都可以得到不同的東西。我只想就“愛(ài)”這一主題，來(lái)展開(kāi)我的分析。
What is love?
愛(ài)是什么？
Answer varies from person to person, and nobody,psychologists or sociologists alike, can give an accurate definition.
不同的人，會(huì)有不同的答案。但從哲學(xué)家到社會(huì)學(xué)家，卻沒(méi)人能夠給出一個(gè)精確的定義。
And they, actually, have made such attempts but the result, you see, turns out to be in vain and just not that satisfactory.
事實(shí)上，他們確實(shí)也做過(guò)一些嘗試，但結(jié)果卻都徒勞無(wú)功，得出的答案也往往差強(qiáng)人意。
So , here, I am not planning to make any definition, quite on the contrary, I want to deconstruct a traditional understanding of love.
因此，在這里我不打算如下任何定義，恰恰相反。我想要去拆析傳統(tǒng)意義上對(duì)愛(ài)的理解。
Maybe, I just say maybe, love is only a figment in our imagination. This is what I conclude after reading this novel.
或許，愛(ài)僅僅源于我們的想象。
這就是我讀完《飄》后的最大感悟。
From the very beginning, we know Scarlett has a childish crush with Ashley and for her whole life Ashley is her dream and has uphold her through so many dark years.
我們知道，從最一開(kāi)始，女主人公斯嘉麗對(duì)男主人公阿希禮就懷抱著近乎天真的愛(ài)戀，終其一生，阿希禮就是她的夢(mèng)，是支撐她熬過(guò)黑暗歲月的光。
Yes, in her life, there is always Ashley, desolate, heart-broken, ready to scream at fate as she often is, always, there is still Ashley.
沒(méi)錯(cuò)，在她的生命里，處處都是阿希禮。她絕望，她心碎，她大聲吶喊命運(yùn)對(duì)的不公，讓他們不能在一起。
可是，縱然彼此都有了家庭，斯嘉麗的生命里，到處還是阿希禮。
This kind of love towards Ashley has made her turn her back against many men, even Rhett who does love her heart and soul; this kind of love blinds her very eyes and she just lives in her imaginary love for so many years。
對(duì)阿希禮的這種愛(ài)，讓她拒絕了生命中的很多男人，甚至包括全心全意愛(ài)她的瑞特。這種愛(ài)障了目蒙了心，致使很多年來(lái)她一直生活在自己虛構(gòu)出來(lái)的一種愛(ài)情里。
Until one day---the day at Melly’ death when Ashley chose to run away from his wife and avoid to face the cruel fact---she woke up suddenly and saddened by an acute dullness and clear realization that she Scarlet never loves Ashley before, and he just never really existed at all, except in her imagination.
這種幻覺(jué)一直持續(xù)到梅蘭妮去世的那一天——那一天，阿希禮脆弱到從他的妻子身邊逃開(kāi)，他不敢面對(duì)妻子已經(jīng)離開(kāi)這一殘酷的事實(shí)。也就是在那一天，斯嘉麗突然清醒過(guò)來(lái)，內(nèi)心被一種尖銳的迷茫刺痛，她清楚地意識(shí)到，她斯嘉麗從來(lái)沒(méi)有真正愛(ài)過(guò)阿希禮，那個(gè)阿希禮壓根兒就不存在，他不過(guò)是自己想象出來(lái)的而已。
At this, she cried and at that very moment she needed Rhett, needed him so desperately that she just hoped to have wings to fly to his broad bosom that she had neglected for so long.
意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)，斯嘉麗哭了起來(lái)，那一刻，她無(wú)比需要瑞特，她恨不能長(zhǎng)上翅膀，立馬躲到瑞特寬大結(jié)實(shí)的胸脯中去，而對(duì)此，她一直以來(lái)是有多么視而不見(jiàn)呵。
That day she realized that she only loves something she made up, something that is just as dead as Melly is.
也就是那一天，她意識(shí)到這么多年來(lái)，她只不過(guò)是愛(ài)著某個(gè)自己虛構(gòu)的東西，那個(gè)東西正如梅蘭妮一樣，死去了。
She made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it.And when Ashley came riding along , so handsome ,so different, she put that suit on him and made him wear it whether it fitted him or not. And she wouldn’t see what he really was. She kept on loving the pretty clothes—and not him at all.
她自己縫制了一套美麗的衣服，并且愛(ài)上了他。后來(lái)阿希禮騎著馬跑過(guò)來(lái)，他顯得那樣帥氣，那么與眾不同，她便把那套衣服給他穿上了，也不管他穿了是否合適。她也不想看清楚他究竟怎么樣，她一直愛(ài)著的不過(guò)是自己縫制的那套衣服而已，而根本不是阿希禮這個(gè)人。
She just loved her own imaginary Ashley for so long until she found out at Melly’ death how week and coward he was, and her life-long dream was shattered into fragments.
這么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間以來(lái)，她不過(guò)是愛(ài)著自己想象中的阿希禮而已，直到梅蘭妮死的時(shí)候，她才發(fā)現(xiàn)，她所愛(ài)的阿希禮原來(lái)是是那么脆弱，那么懦弱，她對(duì)阿希禮的那個(gè)美好的夢(mèng)想，徹底粉碎了。
She looked back down the long years and saw herself in green flowered dimity, standing in the sunshine at Tara, thrilled by the young horseman with his blond hair shining like a silver helmet.
現(xiàn)在，她可追憶到許多年前，看見(jiàn)她自己穿一件綠底白花細(xì)布衣裳站在塔拉的陽(yáng)光下，被那位騎在馬上的金光閃閃的青年吸引住了。
She could see so clearly now that he was only a childish fancy , no more important really than her spoiled desire for the earbobs she had coaxed out of her papa.
For , once she owned the earbobs, they had lost their value, as everything except money lost its value once it was hers. And he, too, would have become cheap if, in those first far-away days, she had ever had the satisfaction of refusing to marry him.
如今，她已經(jīng)清楚地看出，他只不過(guò)是她自己的一個(gè)幼稚的幻影而已，并不比她從爸爸手里哄到的那副海藍(lán)寶石耳墜更為重要。
那副耳墜，她也曾熱烈地向往過(guò)，可是一旦得到，它們就沒(méi)什么值得可貴的了，就像除了金錢(qián)以外的任何東西那樣，一到她手里就失掉了價(jià)值。艾希禮也是這樣，假使她在那些遙遠(yuǎn)的日子最初就拒絕跟他結(jié)婚而滿(mǎn)足了自己的虛榮心，他也早就不會(huì)有什么價(jià)值了。
If she had ever had him at her mercy, seen him grown passionate,jealous, sulky, pleading ,like the other boys, the wild love which had possessed her would have passed, blowing away as lightly as mist before sunshine when she met a new man.
假如她曾經(jīng)支配過(guò)他，看見(jiàn)過(guò)他也像別的男孩子那樣從熱烈、焦急發(fā)展到嫉妒、慍怒、乞求，那么，當(dāng)她遇到一個(gè)新的男人時(shí)，她那一度狂熱的迷戀也就會(huì)消失，就好比一片迷霧在太陽(yáng)出現(xiàn)和輕風(fēng)吹來(lái)時(shí)很快飄散一樣。
At this sudden realization, Scarlet needed Rhett, one who for so many years had loved her as much as a man could love a woman but she Scarlet had ignored so cruelly. But now, she really needed him,desiring to nestle besides him whispering her love to him.
突然意識(shí)到這一切，斯嘉麗無(wú)比需要瑞特，那個(gè)傾注了全身力氣去愛(ài)自己的瑞特，那個(gè)被她斯嘉麗殘忍忽視的瑞特。但是，那一刻，她真的需要他，希望偎依在他的懷里，訴說(shuō)自己的衷腸心語(yǔ)。
她愛(ài)他。
So, she run home quickly, actually so quickly that it brought tears to my eyes when I was reading this part because as reader I know what is waiting for her. After so long a time, after so much hurt and negligence, Rhett’s love wore out and he had decided to leave Scarlet and he meant it.
因此，她飛快地朝家跑去，速度如此之快，以至于當(dāng)我讀到這一部分的時(shí)候，已是淚流滿(mǎn)面，因?yàn)樽x過(guò)這部小說(shuō)的讀者朋友應(yīng)該知道，等待斯嘉麗的是什么。
那時(shí)候，在漫長(zhǎng)的等待之后，另一男主人公瑞特對(duì)斯嘉麗的愛(ài)已經(jīng)枯竭了，他正式?jīng)Q定離開(kāi)斯嘉麗，與斯嘉麗離婚。
他，去意已決。
Rhett was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together and tell himself that them ended whole was just as good as new, and what is broken is broken.
瑞特從來(lái)不是那樣的人，他不可能耐心地拾起一片碎片，把它們湊合在一起，然后對(duì)自己說(shuō)，這個(gè)修補(bǔ)好了的東西跟新的完全一樣。
一樣?xùn)|西，破碎了就是破碎了。
他寧愿記住它最好時(shí)的模樣，而不想把它修補(bǔ)好。然后，終生看著那些碎了的地方。
I have to say I cry over and over again at this, at the fact that a love a tough guy just like Rhett has should end on earth!
我得承認(rèn)，讀到這些句子的時(shí)候，我一次又一次地掉眼淚。
我之所以會(huì)難過(guò)，是因?yàn)槿鹛貝?ài)斯嘉麗，是以一個(gè)男人能夠愛(ài)一個(gè)女人最高的程度在愛(ài)著她，而如今，那份愛(ài)，竟也結(jié)束了。
They say the minute love is spoken out ,expressed and realized, one is doomed to lose it forever for the very paradoxical and contradictory fact that love only exists in human’s imagination.
有人說(shuō)，愛(ài)一經(jīng)說(shuō)出口，一旦得到，也就注定著永遠(yuǎn)失去，只源于那看似自相矛盾的事實(shí)——愛(ài)僅僅只存在于人們的想象之中
You think you love someone so much that you can even sacrifice everything only to be together with him but when you really get him, sadly ,you have to face the hard truth that the once passionate and crazy love you hold for him fades during the time-and-effort-consuming chase and pursuit.
你認(rèn)為你愛(ài)某個(gè)人，你甚至愿意犧牲一切去爭(zhēng)取和他在一起，但是一旦你得到了他，你卻又不得不面對(duì)這個(gè)棱角分明、硌得人生疼的真理，隨著神秘面紗的揭開(kāi)，隨著激情的消退，你對(duì)他所懷抱的那份愛(ài)，在長(zhǎng)久的追逐中已經(jīng)慢慢暗淡，而后很快便又消磨在了日常的雞毛瑣碎里。
It is so sad that it is our human nature that we always give no attention to the things we already have, instead, we spend almost all of our time imagining, desiring ,purchasing something that is far out of our reach. And what is more fortunate is once we get it , we will throw it away just immediately—this is especially true when it comes to love.
想來(lái)，已是憂(yōu)傷，我們總是去關(guān)注自己沒(méi)有擁有的東西，卻對(duì)已經(jīng)擁有的東西熟視無(wú)睹，我們費(fèi)盡心思，花光時(shí)間去幻想，去追逐那些遠(yuǎn)在天邊、虛無(wú)縹緲的東西。
更為悲傷的是，一旦筋疲力盡得到了我們渴望已久的，那些東西卻又很快對(duì)我們失去了吸引力，在愛(ài)情里，尤為如此。
Love is something we imagine in our imagination—we make our imaginary lover in our mind and put a pretty clothes on him—and then start to chase after him until we really get him. On this journey we ignore those who really care us and love us and only are so obsessed with our stubborn love that we even forget to stop to see clearly what we are purchasing really is.
愛(ài)情，好像就存在于我們的想象里——我們事先在我們的大腦里描繪出了一位虛擬的愛(ài)人，然后將一件美麗的衣裳披在那個(gè)人身上，然后開(kāi)始追逐，直到我們真正得到了他，才肯罷休。在這個(gè)追逐的過(guò)程中，我們?nèi)绱斯虉?zhí)于大腦中虛構(gòu)的那個(gè)幻影，而忽視了很多真正在乎我們、關(guān)心我們的人。
我們甚至不愿以停下來(lái)，仔細(xì)去看清楚，我們迷戀的那個(gè)人你究竟是誰(shuí)。
Years later, regretfully, it occurs to us that we have deceived ourselves using our own imagination. Maybe, beauty, as a good many persons put,only exists within a certain distance, so does love.
光陰輾轉(zhuǎn)，歲月流逝，有一天，我們突然意識(shí)到，這么些年來(lái)，我們只不過(guò)是用我們的想象在自欺欺人罷了。
人們常說(shuō)，距離產(chǎn)生美，那或許，愛(ài)情也是如此吧。
The scene Scarlett run home, her love for Rhett with her and after so many years she suddenly realized that it Rhett that she Scarlett really loved touches a raw nerve and tears roll down from my cheeks.
斯嘉麗飛奔回家，很多年過(guò)去了，她終于突然意識(shí)到了對(duì)瑞特的愛(ài)，這些場(chǎng)景，觸痛了我的內(nèi)心最柔軟的部分，淚水不自覺(jué)便往下滑落。
On that chilly autumn day, strolling along a street carpeted by Ginkgo leaves , stroked and stifled by a sudden desolation ,I began to think about what is love. Parhaps, just as is illustrated in GONE WITH THE WIND, love is only a figment in our imagination, but still, still I cherish a sincere hope that one day I will encounter my soul-mate.
在那個(gè)寒冷的秋日，我沿著落滿(mǎn)銀杏樹(shù)的大街，漫無(wú)目的地走著，無(wú)盡的凄涼突然來(lái)襲，我便開(kāi)始思考起其愛(ài)情來(lái)。
或許，正如《飄》里所言，愛(ài)情，不過(guò)源于我們的想象而已，但我依然，依然愿意懷抱白雪般純凈的希望，有一天，我們終將遇到那個(gè)靈魂的伴侶。
你笑，他懂，你哭，他在。
如此，已是足夠。
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