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What is loneliness and why do we feelit? Sophie and Neil discuss how feeling lonely can help us to survive.
This week's questionWhich country has the highest proportion of people living ontheir own? Is it …
a) the US?
b) Japan?
c) Sweden?
You'll hear the answer at the end of the programme.
Transcript
Note: This is not a word-for-word transcript
Sophie
Hello and welcome to 6 Minute English. I'm Sophie…
Neil
And I'm Neil.
Sophie
How was your weekend, Neil?
Neil
Well, not great – I hadn't got anything planned, so Ididn't see anyone for two days. And to be honest, I felt very lonely! There wasa real physical feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Sophie
Poor Neil! You do sound really down in thedumps, and that means unhappy! Well, the subject of today'sshow is loneliness. Andlonelinessis sometimes described as a social pain– a pain that tells us that we'reisolated– or lacking contact with others – whichmotivates us to seek out companionship.
Neil
I'd no idea that feeling lonely had a biologicalexplanation! How does being sociable help us, as a species, then, Sophie?
Sophie
It's all about cooperation– or working together to get somethingdone – for example, finding food.
Neil
Well, I suppose I cooperated with the pizza delivery guyfor a shared outcome.
Sophie
You paid him and he gave you the pizza?
Neil
Exactly. But it wasn't a socially enriching experience.That's the bad thing about London – you can feel lonely, even surrounded withpeople. It isn't easy to meet people you really like – so often you might aswell just on your own.
Sophie
Good point. And I have a question about cities and livingalone, Neil, because it's on the rise. Which country has the highest proportionof people living on their own? Is it …
a) the US?
b) Japan?
Or c) Sweden?
Neil
Well, I'm going to guess b) Japan.
Sophie
OK, we'll see if you got that right later on in the show.So, getting back to loneliness – the idea is that because it makes us feel bad,it motivates us to go out and meet people. Some people are more likely to feellonely than others because our genes play a role in this tendency.
Neil
I wonder if I inherited loneliness genes.
Sophie
I don't know, Neil, but while in some situations beinglonely may be a good thing, because it encourages you to be sociable, in othersituations it may be useful to tolerate– or put up with – loneliness. Let'slisten to Professor Dorret Boomsma at the Vrije University in Amsterdam talkingabout this.
INSERT
Professor DorretBoomsma, Department of Biological Psychology at the Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam
So the intriguing question is why do genes that influenceloneliness still exist? And one explanation is that probably they do not onlyhave negative effects. In some situations it is an advantage to be able totolerate high levels of loneliness and that is why the genes are maintained inthe population.
Sophie
So, inheriting genes for loneliness might not be a badthing. Why's that, Neil?
Neil
Because it means you can tolerate being alone for a longtime without feeling bad.
Sophie
Well, that's an intriguing– or very interesting – idea. But itshows that you probably don't have those genes, Neil, because you did feel badat the weekend.
Neil
That's true. And actually, that was despite spending along time on Facebook, and that's a form of social contact. But does all thetweeting, messaging, and chatting online that we do make us lonelier, becausewe're getting out less and meeting fewer people? Or do virtual connections stopus from feeling lonely?
Sophie
Those are also intriguing questions. Let's listen toProfessor Eric Klinenberg sociologist at New York University and author of abook about living alone. He talks about this.
INSERT
Eric Klinenberg,sociologist at New York University and author
We just don't have great research showing that we aresignificantly more lonely or isolated today than we were ten or twenty orthirty years ago, which means critics who say that Facebook or the internet orwhatever device you carry with you, is making you lonelier and more miserable -they just don't have that much evidence to back it up.
Neil
So there isn't enough evidence to back up–or support – the claim that social media is making us feel lonelier.
Sophie
No, there isn't. OK, now before I give you the answer totoday's quiz question, Neil, did you know that loneliness is contagious?
Neil
You mean you can catch it from somebody like a cold?
Sophie
Yes. There are environmental factors involved inloneliness too. For example, if somebody you talk to every day is alwaysunfriendly towards you, this makes you statistically more likely to be negativein your interactions with somebody else.
Neil
Well, let's try and stay friendly towards each other,then, Sophie. You can start by telling me whether I got today's quiz questionright!
Sophie
OK. I asked: which country has the highest proportion ofpeople living on their own? Is it … a) the US, b) Japan or c) Sweden?
Neil
And I said Japan.
Sophie
This is the wrong answer, I'm afraid. It's actually c)Sweden. Nearly half of all Swedish households are single-occupancy–or for one person. Living alone in Sweden is arguably the norm because it's soeasy – there are many affordable single-occupancy apartments and young Swedescan expect to move into their own apartment once they graduate high-school.
Neil
OK, now let's hear the words we learned today again,Sophie.
Sophie
Yes, OK. They are:
down in the dumps
loneliness
isolated
cooperation
tolerate
intriguing
back up
contagious
single occupancy
Neil
Well, that's the end of this edition of 6 Minute English.Join us again soon! Meanwhile, visit our website: bbclearningenglish.com,where you'll find guides to grammar, exercises, videos and articles to read andimprove your English.
Both
Bye!
Vocabularydown in the dumps
unhappy
loneliness
an unpleasant feeling that tells us that we're lackingcontact with others, which motivates us to seek out companionship
isolated
lacking contact with others
cooperation
working together to get something done
tolerate
put up with
intriguing
very interesting
back up
support
contagious
get something (e.g. a cold, or a lonely feeling) fromsomeone else who has it
single occupancy
a room or apartment for one person
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