（本文發(fā)表于時(shí)報(bào)觀點(diǎn)與評(píng)論版面，作者是Michael Ian Black）
I used to have this one-liner: “If you want to emasculate a guy friend, when you’re at a restaurant, ask him everything that he’s going to order, and then when the waitress comes … order for him.” It’s funny because it shouldn’t be that easy to rob a man of his masculinity — but it is.
我有陣子喜歡講這么個(gè)小笑話：“要想給某個(gè)男性朋友去勢(shì)，只需在餐廳里問(wèn)他要點(diǎn)什么菜，然后等女侍者過(guò)來(lái)的時(shí)候……你來(lái)替他點(diǎn)餐?！毙c(diǎn)在于剝奪一個(gè)男人的男性氣概本來(lái)不應(yīng)該這么容易——但事實(shí)確實(shí)如此。
Last week, 17 people, most of them teenagers, were shot dead at a Florida school. Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School now joins the ranks of Sandy Hook, Virginia Tech, Columbine and too many other sites of American carnage. What do these shootings have in common? Guns, yes. But also, boys. Girls aren’t pulling the triggers. It’s boys. It’s almost always boys.
上個(gè)星期，有17人在佛羅里達(dá)州的一所學(xué)校遭到槍殺，其中大多數(shù)是青少年。馬喬里·斯通曼·道格拉斯高中(Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School)如今加入了桑迪·胡克小學(xué)(Sandy Hook)，弗吉尼亞理工大學(xué)(Virginia Tech)，科倫拜恩(Columbine)以及眾多其他美國(guó)屠殺場(chǎng)之列。這些槍擊案有什么共同點(diǎn)？槍，是的。但還有一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)，那就是：男孩?？蹌?dòng)扳機(jī)的不是女孩。是男孩。幾乎總是男孩。
America’s boys are broken. And it’s killing us.
美國(guó)的男孩垮了。這讓我們備受折磨。
The brokenness of the country’s boys stands in contrast to its girls, who still face an abundance of obstacles but go into the world increasingly well equipped to take them on.
在這個(gè)國(guó)家，男孩的垮掉與女孩們的狀況形成了鮮明對(duì)比，美國(guó)女孩依然面對(duì)著大量障礙，但在進(jìn)入這個(gè)世界的時(shí)候，她們已經(jīng)日益做好準(zhǔn)備去面對(duì)這些障礙。
The past 50 years have redefined what it means to be female in America. Girls today are told that they can do anything, be anyone. They’ve absorbed the message: They’re outperforming boys in school at every level. But it isn’t just about performance. To be a girl today is to be the beneficiary of decades of conversation about the complexities of womanhood, its many forms and expressions.
過(guò)去的50年重新定義了在美國(guó)身為女性的意義。今天的女孩被告知，她們可以做任何事，成為任何人。她們已經(jīng)充分接納了這樣的信息：在學(xué)校里，她們?cè)诟鱾€(gè)方面的表現(xiàn)都超過(guò)男生。但重要的不只是表現(xiàn)。數(shù)十年來(lái)，關(guān)于女性氣質(zhì)的復(fù)雜性和多樣的形式與表達(dá)，人們一直在展開討論，如今的女孩都是這些討論的受益者。
Boys, though, have been left behind. No commensurate movement has emerged to help them navigate toward a full expression of their gender. It’s no longer enough to “be a man” — we no longer even know what that means.
但是，男孩們卻落后了。沒有出現(xiàn)相應(yīng)的運(yùn)動(dòng)來(lái)指導(dǎo)他們充分表達(dá)自己的性別?！白鲆粋€(gè)男人”已經(jīng)不夠了——我們甚至不知道這意味著什么。
Too many boys are trapped in the same suffocating, outdated model of masculinity, where manhood is measured in strength, where there is no way to be vulnerable without being emasculated, where manliness is about having power over others. They are trapped, and they don’t even have the language to talk about how they feel about being trapped, because the language that exists to discuss the full range of human emotion is still viewed as sensitive and feminine.
太多的男孩被困在同一種令人窒息、早已過(guò)時(shí)的男子氣概模板之中，在這種模板里，男性氣質(zhì)是以力量衡量的，你不能表現(xiàn)出脆弱，否則等于被閹割，而男子氣概意味著擁有支配他人的力量。男孩們被困住了，他們甚至沒有一種語(yǔ)言，可以用來(lái)談?wù)撍麄儽焕ё〉母惺埽驗(yàn)樗杏脕?lái)討論各種人類情感的語(yǔ)言仍然被認(rèn)為是敏感的、女性化的。
Men feel isolated, confused and conflicted about their natures. Many feel that the very qualities that used to define them — their strength, aggression and competitiveness — are no longer wanted or needed; many others never felt strong or aggressive or competitive to begin with. We don’t know how to be, and we’re terrified.
對(duì)于自己的天性，男人們感到孤立、困惑和矛盾。許多人認(rèn)為，那些曾經(jīng)被用來(lái)定義男人的品質(zhì)——力量、侵略性和競(jìng)爭(zhēng)意識(shí)——已經(jīng)不再被人渴望或需要；還有很多人從一開始就不覺得自己擁有強(qiáng)大的力量，或者擁有侵略性和競(jìng)爭(zhēng)意識(shí)。我們無(wú)所適從，而且我們很害怕。
But to even admit our terror is to be reduced, because we don’t have a model of masculinity that allows for fear or grief or tenderness or the day-to-day sadness that sometimes overtakes us all.
但是，即使承認(rèn)我們的恐懼也等于示弱，因?yàn)槿魏文行詺赓|(zhì)的模板都不允許男人感到恐懼、悲傷或溫柔，或者有時(shí)會(huì)壓倒我們所有人的那種日復(fù)一日的悲傷。
Case in point: A few days ago, I posted a brief thread about these thoughts on Twitter, knowing I would receive hateful replies in response. I got dozens of messages impugning my manhood; the mildest of them called me a “soy boy” (a common insult among the alt-right that links soy intake to estrogen).
舉例來(lái)說(shuō)：前幾天，我在Twitter上發(fā)布了一則關(guān)于這些想法的簡(jiǎn)短概括，我知道自己會(huì)收到一些充滿惡意的回復(fù)。后來(lái)我收到了數(shù)十條信息，質(zhì)疑我的男性氣概；其中最溫和的一則說(shuō)我是“豆男”（這是另類右翼經(jīng)常使用的一種侮辱，把大豆攝入和雌性激素聯(lián)系起來(lái)）。
And so the man who feels lost but wishes to preserve his fully masculine self has only two choices: withdrawal or rage. We’ve seen what withdrawal and rage have the potential to do. School shootings are only the most public of tragedies. Others, on a smaller scale, take place across the country daily; another commonality among shooters is a history of abuse toward women.
因此，那些感到失落但希望保持充分陽(yáng)剛氣概的男人只有兩種選擇：退縮或憤怒。而我們已經(jīng)看到退縮和憤怒這兩種情緒的潛力。學(xué)校槍擊案只是最公開的悲劇。其他規(guī)模較小的悲劇每一天都在全國(guó)各地發(fā)生；槍手們的另一個(gè)共同點(diǎn)是：都有虐待女性的劣跡。
To be clear, most men will never turn violent. Most men will turn out fine. Most will learn to navigate the deep waters of their feelings without ever engaging in any form of destruction. Most will grow up to be kind. But many will not.
要澄清一點(diǎn)，大多數(shù)男人絕不會(huì)變得暴力。大多數(shù)男人最后都沒什么問(wèn)題。大多數(shù)男人將學(xué)會(huì)趟過(guò)自我感受的深水，而不會(huì)進(jìn)行任何形式的破壞。大多數(shù)人會(huì)成長(zhǎng)為善良的人。但也有許多人不會(huì)。
We will probably never understand why any one young man decides to end the lives of others. But we can see at least one pattern and that pattern is glaringly obvious. It’s boys.
我們可能永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)理解為什么任何一個(gè)年輕男人決定結(jié)束他人的生命。但我們至少可以看到一種規(guī)律，而且這種規(guī)律非常明顯。是男孩。
I believe in boys. I believe in my son. Sometimes, though, I see him, 16 years old, swallowing his frustration, burying his worry, stomping up the stairs without telling us what’s wrong, and I want to show him what it looks like to be vulnerable and open but I can’t. Because I was a boy once, too.
我信任男孩們。我信任我的兒子。但有時(shí)候，我看到16歲的他吞下自己的挫折感，掩飾自己的憂慮，邁著沉重的步伐踏上樓梯，卻不告訴我們有什么事情不對(duì)勁，我想告訴他，既脆弱又開放是一種什么樣的感覺，但是我不能。因?yàn)槲乙苍且粋€(gè)男孩。
There has to be a way to expand what it means to be a man without losing our masculinity. I don’t know how we open ourselves to the rich complexity of our manhood. I think we would benefit from the same conversations girls and women have been having for these past 50 years.
必須有一種方法來(lái)擴(kuò)展身為男人的意義，同時(shí)又不會(huì)讓我們喪失男子氣概。我不知道我們應(yīng)該如何打開自己，去面對(duì)身為男人的豐富復(fù)雜性。我想我們可以從過(guò)去50年來(lái)女孩與女人的類似對(duì)話中受益。
I would like men to use feminism as an inspiration, in the same way that feminists used the civil rights movement as theirs. I’m not advocating a quick fix. There isn’t one. But we have to start the conversation. Boys are broken, and I want to help.
我希望男人能把女權(quán)主義作為一種啟發(fā)，就像女權(quán)主義者把民權(quán)運(yùn)動(dòng)作為啟發(fā)一樣。我不是在鼓吹快速的解決方案。世上沒有什么快速的解決方案。但是我們必須開始這種對(duì)話。男孩們垮了，我想幫助他們。
作者：Michael Ian Black
