Yours

Li Hua.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：本文要點(diǎn)覆蓋較全面，文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤較少，長(zhǎng)短句運(yùn)用合理，結(jié)合了簡(jiǎn)單句同時(shí)運(yùn)用了較多的復(fù)雜句式，如主語(yǔ)從句It’s universally acknowledged that…，強(qiáng)調(diào)句型It''s the society that…非謂語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)作狀語(yǔ)Considering our students are preparing for…等等；同時(shí)恰當(dāng)使用了一定的高級(jí)詞匯如solid foundation，broaden one’s horizons等。

建議：1 文章要點(diǎn)方面，建議時(shí)間更精確些，比如下周周幾幾點(diǎn)到幾點(diǎn)；2 語(yǔ)法方面，注意細(xì)節(jié)語(yǔ)法的錯(cuò)誤，比如mainly改成main，poem改成poems等。

學(xué)生實(shí)例2

分?jǐn)?shù)：20 河南光山二高

Dear Lesile

How are you? I have learnt your progress in your Chinese with my help and your hard work. I am writing to tell the plan that what should you do in advance.

First, let''s make it at eight o''clock in school library. We can consulted a number of books about the subject there. Second, the next theme is about Chinese culture especially the Tang poems that are full of history and act. I believe you will be attractive once you put your heart. Third I need you to perpare some work. The Tang poems are based on the Tang dynasty

so you should to look through the history and great happening.

As the saying goes no pains, no gains. Chinese is so beautiful and difficult that you need be involved sincerely. I am looking forward to starting our study.

Yours，

Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng)：本文要點(diǎn)覆蓋較全面，文章結(jié)構(gòu)較清晰，有恰當(dāng)?shù)你暯釉~使用，長(zhǎng)短句運(yùn)用較合理；同時(shí)恰當(dāng)使用了一定的常用句式及諺語(yǔ)，如as the saying goes，no pains，no gains等。

建議：1 文章要點(diǎn)方面，建議時(shí)間更精確些，比如具體是哪一周哪一天的8點(diǎn)；2 語(yǔ)法方面，注意細(xì)節(jié)語(yǔ)法的錯(cuò)誤，如can consulted改成can consult等；3 邏輯方面，注意詞和詞之間的單配邏輯，如you will be attractive once you…邏輯上不是很通順；4 單詞拼寫(xiě)上，注意拼寫(xiě)的準(zhǔn)確性，如perpare改成prepare等。

學(xué)生實(shí)例3

分?jǐn)?shù)：22 日照一中

Dear Leslie,

How''s it going? Have you absorbed all the knowledge I taught you last time? Now let me tell you the information of next lesson.

I will give the lesson on next Saturday morning, from 8:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. at 101 Room in the teaching building in our school.

We are going to learn about Tang poetry, which is an extremely important part of not only Chinese language but also Chinese culture. What you need to do in advance is to know briefly about the history of Tang Dynasty. You can consult the Internet or the books I gave you. Besides, don''t forget to review what you have learned before.

I am looking forward to our meeting. See you next week!

Yours,

Li Hua.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：本文要點(diǎn)覆蓋全面，行文流暢，有額外的細(xì)節(jié)添加，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰緊湊，語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤較少，運(yùn)用了一定的復(fù)雜句式，如定語(yǔ)從句which is an extremely important part…，主語(yǔ)從句What you need to do in advance is…等等；同時(shí)有一定的詞匯亮點(diǎn)如absorb，extremely替換了very等。

建議：句式方面，可以適當(dāng)再增加一些高級(jí)句式。

2017高考全國(guó)2卷

假定你是李華，想邀請(qǐng)外教 Herry 一起參觀中國(guó)剪紙（paper-cutting）藝術(shù)展。請(qǐng)給他寫(xiě)封郵件，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 展覽時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)；

2. 展覽內(nèi)容。

注意：

1. 詞數(shù)100左右；

2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，已使行文連貫。

學(xué)生實(shí)例1

分?jǐn)?shù)：24分 四川德陽(yáng)中學(xué)

Dear Henry

I''m Li Hua, the leader of the paper-cutting club in our school. Last time you told me you looked forward to learning more about traditional Chinese culture. Now I''m glad to tell you there will be a Chinese paper-cutting exhibition held by our school. I sincerely hope you can set aside some time for the art feast.

The exhibition, the theme of which is "beauty of China", will take place in the school hall from 2 to 5 on the afternoon of June 21. Not only will our club''s works be displayed, but we also have a valuable set of paper-cutting created by a famous artist of this field. Besides, there will be a lot of useful and interesting activities, from which you can have a clearer picture of Chinese culture.

I would appreciate it if you accept my invitation. I''m sure it can leave a wonderful impression on you! I''m looking forward to your reply.

Best wishes!

Yours,

Li Hua

1. 邏輯性較好，層次分明，連貫恰當(dāng)；

2. 運(yùn)用詞塊、句型豐富；

3. 個(gè)別用詞需要改進(jìn)比如說(shuō)leader, leave a wonderful impression不符英語(yǔ)表達(dá)習(xí)慣；

4. 第一段不夠簡(jiǎn)潔。

學(xué)生實(shí)例2

分?jǐn)?shù)：23.5分 岳池中學(xué)

Dear Henry,

I have known that a Chinese paper-cutting exhibition whose subject is about Chinese festivals will be held in our city.

Knowing that you have a great interest in Chinese traditional culture, I am writing the e-mail to invite you to visit the exhibition together with me. The exhibition will be held in the museum from 9a.m. to 7pm. on June 15th, which will last for only one day. On that day, the works of paper-cutting artists from all over China will be exhibited in the museum. Just as I have told you, it is about Chinese traditional festivals. Therefore, in the exhibition, not only can the skills of these paper-cutting artists be enjoyed, but also you can know more about the customs of our Chinese traditional festivals from these beautiful works.

Time permitting, please contact me. I am looking forward to visiting the exhibition together with you.

Yours,

Li Hua

1. 覆蓋了全部要點(diǎn)，使用了較多語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯;

2. 沒(méi)有明顯語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤;

3. 硬傷：主題句不夠突出；

4. 句式套用比較生硬：例如：not only but also； time permitting…

學(xué)生實(shí)例3

分?jǐn)?shù)：22.5 吉林 磐石一中

Dear Henry,

Our school will hold a paper-cutting exhibition. It''s a great honor for me to invite you as a special guest. Paper-cutting is an indispensable style of art. Therefore, I hold the opinion that this show is of extreme significance.

Main points are as follows. To begin with, it will start at 9:00 on 15th Jun and last for one week in our auditorium. Besides, a wide range of activities will be held, including the competitions between different classes, which will be the highlight of this show. Last but not least, taking advantage of this golden opportunity, we can not only enhance our understanding of Chinese indigenous culture, but also enrich our cultural life.

All in all, I''m longing to see you soon.

1. 覆蓋了全部要點(diǎn)，行文流暢

2. 結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，使用了較多復(fù)雜的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和高級(jí)詞匯；

3. 個(gè)別連接詞,過(guò)渡句使用有些生硬、突兀。例如：Main points are as follows.

建議大家多多了解高考作文的詳細(xì)評(píng)分細(xì)則，這樣才能有的放矢按照標(biāo)準(zhǔn)寫(xiě)出優(yōu)秀的文章哦！

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