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1.All of life is a negotiation. 

人生其實就是很多次的談判。

2.It is a necessary life skill that, sadly, is seldom taught. 

這是一種很重要的人生技能，然而，卻很少有人教我們。

3.Understanding the psychology behind the negotiations one is likely to face daily is a significant advantage. 

了解談判背后的心理是一個重要的優(yōu)勢。

4.Take anger, for instance. 

例如，就拿生氣來說。

5.Everyone faces an angry negotiating counterpart at some point. 

每個人某個時候都會遇到需要跟一個憤怒的人談判。

6.Yet few people have strategies in place to manage dealing with such situations with intention.

然而，很少有人有適當(dāng)?shù)牟呗詠硖幚磉@種情況的意圖。

7.It’s worth contemplating how one reacts when facing off with an angry person. 

當(dāng)面對一個憤怒的人時，人們的反應(yīng)是值得思考的。

8.Some people shrink or shy away, avoiding the conflict. 

有些人會畏縮或回避，避免沖突。

9.At the other end of the spectrum, some get on their game-face and dish it back.

而另一種極端，則是一些人開始加入憤怒的游戲，進(jìn)行回?fù)簟?/p>

10.The ability to reframe how one sees these interactions is a valuable tool in any negotiation toolkit. 

在任何談判的技巧庫里，能夠重新審視一個人如何看待這些互動這項技能都是非常有用的。

11.Instead of seeing these moments as horrible experiences to endure (or avoid), it’s beneficial to view them as a means to gather information and a means to a successful negotiation outcome.

與其把這些時刻看作是需要忍受(或避免)的可怕經(jīng)歷，不如把它們看作是收集信息和取得成功談判結(jié)果的一種手段。

12.Here are some quick internal and external To Do’s when dealing with an angry person in negotiations.

下面是一些在談判中與憤怒的人打交道時需要快速處理的內(nèi)部和外部問題。

一.Internal To Do’s:

一.首先是內(nèi)在心理層面：

（1）Be prepared. 

（1）做好心理準(zhǔn)備。

13.Do the homework, including anticipating how to respond to an angry counterpart and exploring their triggers in advance whenever possible.

要做好功課，包括預(yù)測如何應(yīng)對憤怒的對手，以及在可能的情況下提前探索他們的觸發(fā)點。

（2）Know the why. 

（2）知道原因。

14.Knowing your deep why (i.e. what’s driving the issue) can help avert reactivity and keep focus on the outcome.

了解你內(nèi)心深處的原因(即是什么驅(qū)動了這個問題)可以幫助你避免反應(yīng)，并將注意力集中在結(jié)果上。

（3）Self-regulate. 

（3）自我調(diào)整。

15.Avoid responding in kind. 

要避免以牙還牙。

16.Take a breath. 

深呼吸一下。

17.Consider what is generating the anger in order to respond most appropriately and productively.

思考是什么引發(fā)了憤怒，這樣才能做出最恰當(dāng)和有效的回應(yīng)。

(4)Remain courteous and respectful. 

(4)保持禮貌和尊重。

18.Rather than getting reactive, treat the other party with dignity and respect, thereby modelling best behaviour and triggering reciprocity.

與其被動回應(yīng)，不如以尊嚴(yán)和尊重來對待對方，從而樹立最佳行為模式并觸發(fā)互利模式。

（5）Stay focused and calm. 

（5）保持專注和平靜。

19.Don’t allow someone else’s anger to cause you to lose the clarity needed to secure best outcomes.

不要讓別人的憤怒使得你也失去冷靜，要冷靜才能確保最好的結(jié)果。

（6）Practice empathy. 

（6）練習(xí)去共情。

20.Seek to understand the other person’s position, their needs (both stated and unstated) and what drives them.

試著去理解對方的立場，他們的需求(包括明確的和未明確的)以及他們的動機(jī)。

（7）Separate the person from the problem. 

（7）把人和事分開來。

21.Avoid personalizing the process. 

不要把事情變得針對個人。

22.Stay focused on the issues at hand, and try to bring the discussion back to best ways to get the best outcome.

學(xué)會關(guān)注眼下的事情，并試圖讓討論回歸最佳軌道來達(dá)到最佳結(jié)果。

（8）Know one’s BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 

（8）了解談判協(xié)議的最佳替代方案(BATNA)。

23.Knowing your alternatives to any negotiated agreement is grounding and provides greater leverage and clarity.

了解任何談判協(xié)議的替代方案是基本的，并可以提供更多籌碼，讓事態(tài)更清晰。

二.External To Do’s:外在需要的事情：

（1）Get the other party to agree, i.e. by summarizing their position.

（1）讓談判的另一方同意，比如說，先總結(jié)一下對方的立場。

（2）Get curious. 

（2）保持好奇。

（3）Ask questions.

（3）問對方問題。

（4）Practice active listening.

（4）練習(xí)積極地傾聽。

24.Put your own needs into the words of the other party. 

把你自己的需求站在對方的立場來看。

25.They will want to know what is in it for them.

他們會很想知道他們能得到什么。

（5）Mirror the words of the other party.

（5）回應(yīng)對方的話。

26.Let the other party think they’re in control.

讓對方感覺自己是處于掌控之中的。

（7）Invite the other party to show up as the best version of themselves (i.e. when confronted with an angry outburst, say something like: “I know that treating people with dignity and respect is important to you …”).

邀請對方展現(xiàn)自己最好的一面(比如，當(dāng)你面對憤怒的爆發(fā)時，你可以說:“我知道要有尊嚴(yán)、尊重別人對你來說很重要……”)。

(8)Call out inappropriate behaviour, but not in a way so as to trigger a defensive dig-in—allow a face-saver for the other party (i.e. “It seems that you’re upset. Is there something I’ve said or done that’s causing this reaction? What can we do to get back on track?”)

大聲說出不恰當(dāng)?shù)男袨椋灰砸l(fā)防御性的方式——讓對方保住面子(例如:“你看起來很沮喪，但你不知道自己在做什么。”我說了什么或做了什么導(dǎo)致了這種反應(yīng)嗎?我們要怎么做才能回到正軌呢?”)

(9)Consider changing the venue—i.e. regroup over lunch or go for a walk together to discuss the matter.

考慮一下改變地點——例如，一起吃午飯或散步來討論這個問題。

END