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Daniel Hickey，高海奇

記者，作家，愛爾蘭人，

現(xiàn)為諾里奇《東方日報》記者。

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You witness things happen - a bowl breaks, a boy cries - and you think you can tell which is the effect and which is the cause. The more you probe, though, the less certain you are. Does the effect have one cause or many causes? What about those causes which I cannot see and which I will never know? And what about the effects I cannot predict?

I behave a certain way in the present, hoping it will have a particular effect, but how will I ever know whether what I am doing now will have a positive or negative impact in the future?

The incident in question happened last Wednesday. I was working from home in the living room on a conference call on my laptop while in the dining room my wife was getting our son ready for school. It was a bright, warm morning, the doors were open and our neighbour’s daughter, who is the same age as our son, was perched on her shed roof, which has a view into our garden.

When my son saw her - they are inseparable these days - he grabbed his bowl of porridge, rushed outside and sat on the step.

This whole time, I was on a conference call, only vaguely aware of these developments until…

Waaaaaaa!!!!!

A cry cut through the house. My son was suddenly wailing. I muted my microphone and rushed into the dining room.

Bowl! My son was howling. Bowl!

The bowl - his favourite bowl - had fallen from his hands and smashed on the path.

Bowl! Tears streamed from his eyes. Bowl! He roared. Bowl!

Don’t be sad, my wife was saying, we can get you a new one.

I don’t WANT a new one! That was my favourite bowl! That was the only bowl I want and now it’s gone! Bowl! Bowl!

I tried to hold him but he kicked and struggled and ran away.

Bowl!

It’s only a bowl, I said.

Bowl!

You need to stop crying now, I said.

He wouldn’t stop crying.

You need to stop.

But that wasn’t the right thing to say. Most of the time it’s hard to know what to say. In my mind a voice said: if you tell him to stop crying he will end up emotionally stunted, unable to express himself.

Bowl!

Our morning had turned into an absurdist play where effects either exceed their cause or seem to have no cause at all.

But what if he wasn’t only crying about the bowl? What if his pain had more than one cause? If that was the case, what were those other causes? Was it something I had or had not done? Did I not give him enough attention? Had I done something wrong?

It’s only a bowl, I said, c’mon, you need to get ready for school.

He buried his face in his mother’s shoulder.

I want my bowl back!

My wife looked at me. That special expression which means: follow my lead.

You must have lost something like that when you were five-years-old, she said.

I tried to remember when I was five-years-old. The only memory that came to mind was looking out the front window of our house and seeing our neighbour’s father waving a flag. Other than that, there was nothing, no memories of broken bowls.

No, I said, I didn’t.

Surely you did, you just can’t remember now. See, she said to our son, daddy can’t even remember this kind of thing happening to him.

She tried to make me see the situation from our son’s point of view. It was the first time he had lost something that was special to him. Yes it was a bowl and that made the situation kind of funny but no less devastating for him.

But this is good for him, she said, it’s a learning experience, it shows him that nothing lasts forever.

That day my son was late for school. At first he didn’t want to go in at all. He was too sad, he said. Then he wanted another hug from mama. He did finally go to school. When we picked him up that evening, he said he didn’t play with anyone that day, he didn’t want to. Instead he sat by himself all day.

That evening, my wife took him into the city to go shopping.

They bought two new bowls.

One of them - a turquoise coloured one - is my son’s new favourite bowl.

Nothing lasts forever, said my wife, and change is always possible.

上周三。我在客廳里視頻會議，妻子在餐廳里為兒子上學做準備。那是一個明亮溫暖的早晨，門開著，鄰居的女兒和兒子同齡，她坐在棚屋屋頂上，看著我們的花園。

當兒子看到她時——這些天他們形影不離——立即抓起盛滿粥的碗，沖到外面，坐在門前臺階上。

這段時間里，我一直在開會，直到“哇啊?。。。。?！”的一聲呼喊響徹了整個房子，兒子突然哭了起來。我把麥克風靜音，沖了出去。

“碗！”兒子嚎叫著，“碗！”

他最喜歡的碗，從手中掉了下來，砸在了路上。

“碗！”他哭著咆哮，“碗！”

“別難過，”妻子安慰，“我們可以給你買個新的?！?/span>

“我不想要新的！那是我最喜歡的碗！那是我唯一想要的碗，現(xiàn)在它碎了！碗！碗！”

我試圖抓住他，但他踢了一腳，掙扎著跑了。

“這只是一個碗?！蔽艺f。

“碗！”他哭個不停。

“你現(xiàn)在需要停止哭泣。”

但這不是正確的說法，大多數(shù)時候很難知道該說什么。我的腦海中，有一個聲音說：如果你讓他停止哭泣，他最終會情緒發(fā)育不良，最終無法表達自己。

我們的早晨變成了一場荒誕的戲劇，其中的結果要么超出了原本的起因，要么似乎根本沒有原因。

但如果他不只是為碗哭泣呢？如果他的疼痛不止一個原因呢？是我沒有給予他足夠的關注嗎？我做錯什么了嗎？

“這只是一個碗，”我說，“來吧，你需要做好準備去上學了。”

他把臉埋在母親的肩膀上。

“我要我的碗！”

妻子看著我，這個特殊的表情意味著：跟著我的話頭走。

她說：“你五歲的時候也一定失去了這樣一件東西?！?/span>

我試著回憶我五歲的時候，腦海中浮現(xiàn)的唯一記憶是從家的前窗望出去，看到鄰居的父親揮舞著國旗。除此之外，什么都沒有，也沒有摔壞碗的記憶。

“不，”我說，“我沒有?！?/span>

“你肯定記得，只是現(xiàn)在記不起來了?！彼龑鹤诱f，“看，爸爸甚至不記得發(fā)生在他身上的這種事了。”

她試圖讓我從兒子的角度來看待，這是他第一次失去對他來說特別的東西。

“是的，這只是一個碗，但對他來說同樣是毀滅性的。”她說，“但這對他有好處，這是一次學習經(jīng)歷，讓他明白，沒有什么是永恒的。”

那天兒子上學遲到了。一開始他根本不想進去，他說他太傷心了，媽媽再次擁抱他后才最終走進了學校。晚上接他時，他說他沒有和任何人玩，一整天都獨自坐著。

晚上，妻子帶他進城去購物，他們買了兩個新碗。

其中一個是綠松石色的，是兒子最喜歡的新碗。

“沒有什么是永恒的，”妻子說，“改變總是有可能的?！?/span>

END

2023年/第180期∣2023/6月刊

排 | 閻家琿

審 | 周春倫

翻譯 | 金鑫

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