一、
當(dāng)我們過度專注于從某人那里得到承諾或安全感時(shí)，我們可能會(huì)忽略一個(gè)事實(shí)：我們也需要時(shí)間去了解這個(gè)人，并決定這個(gè)人是否真的和我們想要的一致。
When we're hyper cocused on getting commitment or security from someone,we may lose sight of the fact that we also need time to get to know this person and decide whether or not this person is truly aligned with what we want.
二、
如果我們的自然傾向是回避，我們應(yīng)該反其道而行之嗎？即使我們的能量告訴我們要離開我們正在努力維持的關(guān)系？
If our natural tendency is to avoid,should we do the opposite of that?even if our energy is telling us to pull away in the relationship we are trying to wok on?
三、
有時(shí)候，我們說(shuō)再見不是因?yàn)閷?duì)方不愿意給我們所需要的，而是因?yàn)樗麄兘o不了。那些再見可能是最艱難的結(jié)局。
Sometimes we say goodbye not because the other person doesn't want to give us what we need,but becasue they can't.those goodbyes can be some of the hardest endings to make.
四、
當(dāng)你理解了故事產(chǎn)生的背景時(shí)，每個(gè)人的故事都是有意義的。
Everyone's story makes perfect sense when you understand the context in which it was created.
五、
有些人非常重視真理，他們?cè)敢鉃榱私邮苷胬矶械綐O大的不適。有些人非常重視自由，他們會(huì)從打斷自由的關(guān)系中走出來(lái)。
Some people value truth so much that they're willing to feel immense discomfort in order to receive it.some people value freedom so much that they'll walk away from relatioships that interrupt it.
六、
我認(rèn)為我們所有的人都必須在接近我們的伴侶和接近我們自己之間找到微妙的平衡。我們必須找到一種方法，知道什么時(shí)候我們所愛的人能提供安慰，什么時(shí)候我們必須學(xué)會(huì)從內(nèi)心培養(yǎng)安慰。
I think all of us who enter relationships have to find the delicate balance between reaching for our partner and reaching for ourselves.we have to find a way to know when it's comfort our loved one can provide,or a comfort we must learn to internally cultivate.
七、
面對(duì)那些孤獨(dú)地面對(duì)和挑戰(zhàn)我們的人，我們會(huì)變得害怕和抗拒他們。與那些只會(huì)用溫柔和無(wú)盡的理解來(lái)安慰我們的人在一起，我們可能得不到那種勇氣和誠(chéng)實(shí)，我們需要去面對(duì)和整合更完整、更真實(shí)的自我。
With people who lonly confront and challenge us,we can grow to become afraid and resistant towards them.with people who only comfort us with gentleness and endless understanding,we might not be offered the kind of courage and honesty we need to face and integrate our fuller and more authentic selves.
八、
當(dāng)你用直接、清楚、誠(chéng)實(shí)的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)真正的問題時(shí)，你的注意力集中在自己的內(nèi)心，而不是引發(fā)憤怒的人身上，憤怒就有了很好的界限。
Anger has good boundaries when it is expressed with direct,clear,honest words about the true issue,with your focus on your own insides,rather than on the person who triggered the anger.
九、
擁有一個(gè)安全的關(guān)系容器有時(shí)會(huì)讓人回想起痛苦的記憶或感覺，讓他們想要逃離自己。
Having a safe relational container can sometimes allow people to access painful memories or feelings that can make them want to run away from themselves. #情感#
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