摘 要:本文探討中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作中在用詞和句式選擇方面存在的缺陷,字闡釋原因的基礎(chǔ)上提出解決途徑,并通過(guò)剖析范文,指明中學(xué)生英文寫(xiě)作中應(yīng)注意的問(wèn)題,以期為其提高英文寫(xiě)作水平提出可操作性的建議和方法。
關(guān)鍵詞:中學(xué)生;英語(yǔ)作文;用詞;句式
Abstract: this essay probes into the defects in the choice of both English words and English sentence patterns in Chinese middle school students’ English language writing. Based on a detailed explanation of the cause of the said defects, the author puts forward relevant resolutions. Also, by means of analyzing some model compositions, the author comes up with several points which Chinese middle school students are supposed to pay attention to in their English language writing, for the purpose of giving practical suggestions and methods for the improvement of their English language writing.
Key words: middle school students, English language writing, the use of words, sentence patterns
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作在中學(xué)英語(yǔ)教學(xué)中占據(jù)重要位置,是學(xué)生應(yīng)掌握的四項(xiàng)(聽(tīng)、說(shuō)、讀、寫(xiě))技能之一。中考和高考英語(yǔ)測(cè)試題中亦均有對(duì)學(xué)生寫(xiě)作能力的考查。從現(xiàn)行中學(xué)英語(yǔ)教學(xué)中英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作的實(shí)際效果來(lái)看,中學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作能力尚不能令人滿意,其英語(yǔ)作文在內(nèi)容和用語(yǔ)兩個(gè)方面均存在諸多問(wèn)題。如,內(nèi)容空洞,缺乏說(shuō)服力;結(jié)構(gòu)混亂,邏輯關(guān)系不當(dāng);套用母語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作模式,無(wú)病呻吟,亂表“決心”,文風(fēng)做作;中式英文充斥其中等。本文在此無(wú)意對(duì)中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容方面的上述問(wèn)題進(jìn)行深入討論,而著重探討中學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作中用詞和句式的缺陷與不足,分析其原因,并提出解決途徑,同時(shí)通過(guò)對(duì)某些學(xué)生習(xí)作或范文的具體剖析,指明中學(xué)生寫(xiě)作中應(yīng)注意的問(wèn)題,從而為其提高寫(xiě)作水平提出可操作性的建議和方法。
一、寫(xiě)作缺陷
㈠ 不注意使用銜接詞,文章缺乏連貫性和邏輯性
銜接詞是段落中起承轉(zhuǎn)銜接作用的詞或短語(yǔ),用以說(shuō)明前后句子或語(yǔ)意之間的關(guān)系,借以提高段落的連貫性和邏輯性,并有利于讀者跟上作者的思路。銜接詞根據(jù)其含義可分為不同種類,表示舉例、對(duì)比、結(jié)果、讓步、總結(jié)、強(qiáng)調(diào)等。
中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作中,較為明顯的缺陷與不足之一是忽視銜接詞的使用。他們往往只注重英文語(yǔ)句之間的含義聯(lián)系,未意識(shí)到應(yīng)將英文句子用各種銜接詞前后串聯(lián)起來(lái),借以提高段落的整體連貫性。如,在表達(dá)“王明今天要在家照顧母親,他母親病了。”時(shí),不少同學(xué)用英文這樣寫(xiě)道:
Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother. His mother was ill.
如果進(jìn)行如下改寫(xiě),文章會(huì)銜接自然,具有較強(qiáng)的連貫性:
Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother, for she was ill. 或者:
Wang Ming’s mother was ill, so he had to stay at home to look after her.
當(dāng)然, 本句若不使用銜接詞,而時(shí)使用定語(yǔ)從句,也能解決問(wèn)題。
Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother, who was ill.
㈡ 用詞單調(diào)重復(fù),缺乏新意
不少中學(xué)生在英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中,欲表達(dá)相同或相近意思時(shí),常有意無(wú)意地通篇使用完全相同的詞匯或短語(yǔ),而未考慮或意識(shí)到應(yīng)避免用詞重復(fù)。這樣給讀者產(chǎn)生的印象是:文章措辭單調(diào)乏味,缺乏吸引力和新鮮感,可讀性差。如,在表達(dá)“許多中學(xué)生每天花費(fèi)好幾個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間上網(wǎng)。這對(duì)他們的學(xué)習(xí)產(chǎn)生了不利影響。很多家長(zhǎng)都反對(duì)孩子上網(wǎng)?!睍r(shí),不少學(xué)生寫(xiě)道:
Many middle school students spend many hours a day visiting the Internet. This has produced an unfavorable influence on their studies. Many parents are against their children’s visiting the Internet.
上面短短三句話中,有三處使用了many, 令讀者感到作者詞匯之貧乏。另外,三個(gè)句子之間也缺乏必要的銜接詞或關(guān)系詞,致使句與句子之間的聯(lián)系不夠緊湊、連貫。為此,可進(jìn)行如下修改:
A large number of middle school students spend several hours a day visiting the Internet, which has produced an unfavorable influence on their studies. Therefore, lots of parents are against their children’s visiting the Internet.
㈢ 句式結(jié)果單調(diào),簡(jiǎn)單句偏多
英語(yǔ)句子按其結(jié)構(gòu)可分為簡(jiǎn)單句、并列句、復(fù)合句和并列復(fù)合句。欲令文章具有吸引力,應(yīng)保持句式多變、結(jié)構(gòu)豐富;否則,句式結(jié)構(gòu)千篇一律,會(huì)令讀者感到單調(diào)發(fā)味,也不利于明確和突出文章的中心思想。為保持句式結(jié)構(gòu)的多樣性,可將各種句式混用。如,長(zhǎng)短句搭配使用,并交叉運(yùn)用不同的主從結(jié)構(gòu)、并列結(jié)構(gòu)、倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)等,以求收到句式多變并突出重點(diǎn)的效果。具體說(shuō)來(lái),可將某些簡(jiǎn)單句改為并列句或從句,而穿插保留一小部分長(zhǎng)短不等的簡(jiǎn)單句;將某些使用較多的“主-動(dòng)-賓(SVO)”基本句型的開(kāi)頭部分,變換為短語(yǔ)(如副詞短語(yǔ)、分詞短語(yǔ)、介詞短語(yǔ))、從句(如由when, because, although, if等連接詞引導(dǎo)的狀語(yǔ)從句),或使用并列連詞(and, but等)或連接副詞(however, actually, consequently等)。
上述兩例已經(jīng)充分說(shuō)明了這一問(wèn)題。學(xué)生寫(xiě)出的上訴英文句子多為簡(jiǎn)單句,句式結(jié)構(gòu)單一,而且前后句之間缺乏銜接詞。第二例中修改后的英文,使用了定語(yǔ)從句和銜接詞Therefore, 使得前后句較為緊湊,銜接自然,句式多變,因而可讀性較強(qiáng)。
㈣ 段落層次不清
中學(xué)階段的英文寫(xiě)作,內(nèi)容較為簡(jiǎn)單,篇幅不要求太長(zhǎng),次數(shù)也不要求過(guò)多(一般100詞左右即可),這樣就給不少同學(xué)一種誤解:整篇作文有一個(gè)段落即可。在這種錯(cuò)誤意識(shí)的支配下,不少同學(xué)寫(xiě)英文作文時(shí),只有作文題目沒(méi)有特別做出分段要求,即使當(dāng)然地僅寫(xiě)一個(gè)段落,而從不考慮根據(jù)文章的內(nèi)容安排、段落層次和邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)進(jìn)行分段寫(xiě)作。這樣的文章會(huì)令讀者感覺(jué)缺乏層次感,或邏輯性不強(qiáng)。誠(chéng)然,根據(jù)所寫(xiě)文章的具體內(nèi)容,可能會(huì)有個(gè)別文章僅需一個(gè)段落即可,但絕大多數(shù)文章是可以并且應(yīng)該分段的。試看以下例證。
A Clever Boy
It was Sunday and Tom didn’t go to school. So his father asked him to paint. He took out three apples and told Tom to draw as many apples as on the table. Tom loved playing football and didn’t like painting. He thought it would be too hard for him to draw so many apples. So he thought and then he had an idea. He ate up two of the three apples and then there was only one apple left on the table. He finished his painting and went out to play, leaving his work on the table. When his father came back and saw the painting, he was surprised to see there was only one apple on the table and his son was no longer there.
這是一篇初中作文范文。應(yīng)該說(shuō),文章語(yǔ)句較為流暢,前后內(nèi)容銜接自然,不失為一篇不錯(cuò)的英文短文。然而,短文還留有一點(diǎn)缺憾,即未分段,缺乏段落層次感。
二、原因探析
㈠ 學(xué)生深受母語(yǔ)影響,對(duì)中英文的行為特點(diǎn)和寫(xiě)作習(xí)慣的差異缺乏足夠認(rèn)識(shí),致其忽視對(duì)銜接詞的使用。
在文章行文的連貫性方面,中文強(qiáng)調(diào)“意合”,注重段落的內(nèi)容、含義本身的上下連貫性,而并不強(qiáng)調(diào)銜接詞的使用;與此相反,英文強(qiáng)調(diào)“形合”,講究通過(guò)銜接詞引領(lǐng)段落乃至整篇文章中語(yǔ)意的前后關(guān)系。中國(guó)學(xué)生深受母語(yǔ)影響,對(duì)上述中英文段落行文的差異缺乏足夠的認(rèn)識(shí)和重視,致其在進(jìn)行英文寫(xiě)作時(shí)想當(dāng)然地遵照母語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作的模式和習(xí)慣進(jìn)行而忽視銜接詞的使用,加之有些教師亦對(duì)銜接詞在英文篇章中所具有的不可或缺的銜接作用認(rèn)識(shí)不足從而未能不斷提醒學(xué)生予以重視,無(wú)意中強(qiáng)化了學(xué)生對(duì)英文銜接詞使用的忽視程度。
(二)學(xué)生詞匯量貧乏以及用詞考究意識(shí)淡漠,導(dǎo)致其行文中相同詞匯的重復(fù)使用。
在行文中,無(wú)論英文或中文,反復(fù)使用同一詞匯或短語(yǔ),自然會(huì)令讀者生厭,喪失閱讀興趣。目前,不少中學(xué)生對(duì)此尚缺乏足夠的認(rèn)識(shí),認(rèn)為寫(xiě)出的英文能表達(dá)思想即可,在此思想支配下,他們殊少考慮英文寫(xiě)作中避免用詞單調(diào)重復(fù)的問(wèn)題。另外,有些同學(xué)已經(jīng)意識(shí)到最好能夠廣泛使用近.義詞或同義詞,借以增強(qiáng)語(yǔ)言的豐富性和表現(xiàn)力,但囿于其有限的詞匯量以及對(duì)有些同義詞或近義詞的區(qū)別與聯(lián)系把握不足,致其深感“心有余而力不足”,無(wú)法或不敢奢求對(duì)用詞豐富性和多樣性的考究。如,表達(dá)“許多”時(shí),有的同學(xué)想 起有不少近義詞(如many,a large number of;lots of ,plenty of;much,a great deal of ,a large amount of)可供選用,但又對(duì)有些詞組的區(qū)別有些含糊,便反復(fù)使用正確性較有把握的某一個(gè)詞或短語(yǔ)。
(三)學(xué)生語(yǔ)法知識(shí)不牢,對(duì)英文句式結(jié)構(gòu)缺乏知識(shí)把握和多樣化意識(shí),致其使用簡(jiǎn)單句偏多
目前出現(xiàn)的一個(gè)較為普遍的現(xiàn)象是,為數(shù)不少的中學(xué)生不肯用心學(xué)習(xí)和掌握基本語(yǔ)法知識(shí),甚至一提語(yǔ)法即表現(xiàn)出反感情緒;而不少教師亦輕視對(duì)語(yǔ)法的專門、系統(tǒng)講授,當(dāng)所講課文語(yǔ)句涉及某語(yǔ)法現(xiàn)象時(shí)僅僅簡(jiǎn)單舉例說(shuō)明了事,致使學(xué)生缺乏對(duì)某些語(yǔ)法現(xiàn)象的整體準(zhǔn)確把握,對(duì)定語(yǔ)從句、非限定動(dòng)詞等語(yǔ)法現(xiàn)象僅滿足于簡(jiǎn)單識(shí)別,而遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)談不上主動(dòng)、準(zhǔn)確地運(yùn)用到寫(xiě)作中去。而“淡化語(yǔ)法教學(xué)”的呼聲以及英文試卷中專門語(yǔ)法類試題的削弱,更強(qiáng)化了師生對(duì)語(yǔ)法的忽視程度,致使學(xué)生語(yǔ)法知識(shí)不牢,寫(xiě)作中語(yǔ)病層出不窮,更難奢求其英文句式結(jié)構(gòu)的多樣化意識(shí)和實(shí)踐。
另外,教師自然了解學(xué)生的語(yǔ)法知識(shí)欠缺,遂“巧妙地”提出學(xué)生寫(xiě)作時(shí)的“萬(wàn)全之策”,即:鑒于寫(xiě)作中使用復(fù)合句出錯(cuò)率較高,為“保險(xiǎn)”起見(jiàn),多用簡(jiǎn)單句;同時(shí),試卷評(píng)閱人對(duì)簡(jiǎn)單句過(guò)多、句式結(jié)構(gòu)缺乏多樣性的英文作文,大多表現(xiàn)出寬容,只要文章語(yǔ)句基本通順,內(nèi)容基本完整,所判分值較之那些句式結(jié)構(gòu)多變的作文相差無(wú)幾。教師和評(píng)卷人的上述寬容心態(tài),助長(zhǎng)了學(xué)生對(duì)語(yǔ)法知識(shí)的系統(tǒng)掌握和寫(xiě)作中對(duì)句式結(jié)構(gòu)多樣化的追求,并造成語(yǔ)法知識(shí)和寫(xiě)作技能二者相互影響、日益惡化的惡性循環(huán)。
(四)學(xué)生缺乏文章分段意識(shí)或?qū)Χ温溥壿嬓缘目紤],導(dǎo)致僅寫(xiě)一個(gè)段落或段落層次不清
前面已經(jīng)提及,中學(xué)英文寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容較為簡(jiǎn)單,篇幅較短,詞數(shù)不多,不少同學(xué)誤以為整篇作文有一個(gè)段落未嘗不可,而不注意根據(jù)文章層次和結(jié)構(gòu)進(jìn)行分段寫(xiě)作。需要指出的是,也有一些同學(xué)注意了分段寫(xiě)作問(wèn)題,但隨意分段,導(dǎo)致分段不科學(xué),缺乏邏輯性。學(xué)生寫(xiě)作中僅寫(xiě)一個(gè)段落或段落層次不清,究其原因,不難發(fā)現(xiàn),不少教師對(duì)學(xué)生寫(xiě)作分段問(wèn)題未予以高度關(guān)注,而僅強(qiáng)調(diào)在達(dá)到語(yǔ)句基本通順,內(nèi)容基本完整的前提下,符合字?jǐn)?shù)要求即可。無(wú)疑,他們忽視了中學(xué)生英文寫(xiě)作中段落層次和邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)的重要性。而作文評(píng)閱人對(duì)此也經(jīng)常網(wǎng)開(kāi)一面,對(duì)寫(xiě)作不分段現(xiàn)象減分甚少。
三、解決途徑
(一) 歸納銜接詞或常用句式,嘗試用于寫(xiě)作中
中學(xué)生在平時(shí)的英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)過(guò)程中,應(yīng)該有意識(shí)地收集寫(xiě)作中使用率較高的某些銜接詞,并予以歸納整理,然后嘗試將其運(yùn)用到自己的習(xí)作中去。當(dāng)然,在這一方面,教師也責(zé)無(wú)旁貸。另外,中學(xué)生還應(yīng)增加英文閱讀量,注意觀察英文文章中銜接詞的使用,繼而揣摩,進(jìn)而模仿使用。
以下是筆者歸納的一些常見(jiàn)銜接詞、短語(yǔ)或句式。建議學(xué)生熟記于心,并有意識(shí)地運(yùn)用于平時(shí)的習(xí)作中。有些地方提供了若干近義詞(組),系考慮向中學(xué)生提供多種銜接詞的選擇,并強(qiáng)化其用詞多樣化的意識(shí)。有些學(xué)生或許認(rèn)為,有些詞匯“超綱”,但鑒于這些常用詞對(duì)寫(xiě)作的特殊意義,早些知悉亦未嘗不可,何況不少詞本是某些常見(jiàn)詞的派生詞而已,記憶起來(lái)并無(wú)難度。
值得一提的是,此處有些近義詞(組)可以相互替換使用,但有些卻存在含義或用法上的區(qū)別,應(yīng)注意借助工具書(shū)等予以明確區(qū)分以免用錯(cuò)。限于篇幅,本文對(duì)此不作進(jìn)一步解釋。
1.導(dǎo)人。一般說(shuō)來(lái):generally speaking,as a general rule,in general
從一定意義上說(shuō):in a way,to some extent,to a certain degree
在我看來(lái)(我認(rèn)為,據(jù)我所知):In my opinion….
As far as I know (am concerned)…,At an individual leve1,I feel that…
To the best of my knowledge…,Personally,I suppose!… I think (suppose,maintain,believe,feel,reckon,hold the opinion/view) that...
2.比較:similarly,likewise,in the same way;unlike
3.列舉或附加:for example,for instance;such as;namely,that is;above all,in the first place,first of all,to begin with,to start with,first and foremost in the second place also,besides,furthermore,moreover,in addition,what is more;finally,eventually
For one thing,...For another;on the one hand…,On the other hand…
4.原因:owing to,on account of , as a result of because of, thanks to;in view of , seeing that,considering, The reasons why…, are as follows:/there are several reasons why…
5.結(jié)果as a result,consequently,therefore,thus;such being the case,under such circumstances
6.強(qiáng)調(diào):indeed;as a matter of fact,in reality,in fact,in essence,actually;in other words,after all,doubtlessly,no doubt,needless to say,naturally,of course,admittedly
7.轉(zhuǎn)折或?qū)φ眨?/span>although;regardless of, in spite of;nonetheless,nevertheless;conversely,on the contrary;in sharp contrast,by contrast
8.時(shí)間:after a while,as soon as,in the meantime,meanwhile,recently,lately,presently,so far,for the time being,at present
9.結(jié)論:to sum up,to conclude;in conclusion,in a word,in short,in all,in brief, n summary;on the whole,in the long run
10.論說(shuō)文常用短語(yǔ)或句式:
毋庸諱言:It goes without saying that…
不可否認(rèn):There is no denying the fact that…
一般認(rèn)為:It is generally believed/thought that… It is commonly held that…
It is universally acknowledged that...It is generally accepted that...
與一般看法相反/不同,我認(rèn)為……:Contrary to generally accepted ideas, I argue that…
相比之下,A比B更有利。By contrast,A is blessed with more advantages.
By contrast, A enjoys a distinct advantage over B.利大于弊。The advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
對(duì)此問(wèn)題,人們態(tài)度不一。People’s attitudes towards the problem vary from person to person.
眾說(shuō)紛紜,莫衷一是。Opinions vary from individual to individual.
這一觀點(diǎn)的主要問(wèn)題是,它忽略了一個(gè)基本事實(shí),即…
The main problem with this argument is that it is ignorant of the basic fact that…
乍想起來(lái),此觀點(diǎn)似有道理,但仔細(xì)分析起來(lái),就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)……
At first thought,it may seem a reasonable idea,but on closer analysis we find that...
大多數(shù)人認(rèn)為……:People at large believe/maintain that; The vast majority of people reckon (hold the opinion) that
越來(lái)越多的人傾向于認(rèn)為……:A significantly increasing number of people tend to believe that...
(二)擴(kuò)大詞匯量,并注意積累某些常見(jiàn)詞的同義詞和近義詞
中學(xué)生要在擴(kuò)大詞匯量的同時(shí),注意積累、辨別近義詞、同義詞,并有意識(shí)地將其用于平時(shí)的英文習(xí)作中,以訓(xùn)練英文的語(yǔ)言豐富性和表現(xiàn)力。當(dāng)然,應(yīng)特別注意:平時(shí)要留意并通過(guò)閱讀英文材料品味某些近義詞、同義詞的區(qū)別與聯(lián)系,注意其使用場(chǎng)合,確保英文寫(xiě)作中用詞準(zhǔn)確,語(yǔ)法正確,搭配適當(dāng)。
舉例來(lái)說(shuō),表示“強(qiáng)調(diào),注重”,我們可以使用下列近義詞(組:stress,emphasize,lay (put,place) emphasis on,lay (put,place) stress on,highlight,pay close attention to,attach
importance to,express deep concern at,make much account of。表示“許多”,上面已經(jīng)提到,有many,a large number of lots of, plenty of;much.a great deal of, a large amount of等可供選擇,但要弄清它們的區(qū)別:many,a large number of修飾可數(shù)名詞;lots of, plenty of修飾可數(shù)或不可數(shù)名詞;much,a great deal of, a large amount of修飾不可數(shù)名詞。再如,表示“有時(shí)”,不必總考慮使用sometimes,還要想到另有at times,from time to time,on occasions,there are times when (接從句)…可用。表示“花費(fèi)(時(shí)間)”,可用動(dòng)詞cost,spend,take,但應(yīng)注意它們的主語(yǔ)不同。如,表達(dá)“他們花費(fèi)了三天時(shí)間完成了這項(xiàng)任務(wù)。”可說(shuō)成:They spent three days (in) completing the task./It took them three days to complete the task./The task cost them three days.
(三)掌握基本句型和各種從句、非限定動(dòng)詞等的運(yùn)用規(guī)則,多嘗試練習(xí)句型間的轉(zhuǎn)換,并有意識(shí)地運(yùn)用于寫(xiě)作中
關(guān)于句型間的轉(zhuǎn)換,現(xiàn)略舉數(shù)例,以示一斑。希望中學(xué)生能獲得啟發(fā),在英文寫(xiě)作中嘗試使用多變的句式結(jié)構(gòu)。
They will spend millions of dollars on the project.(主動(dòng)--語(yǔ)態(tài)與被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)間的轉(zhuǎn)換) Millions of dollars will be spent on the project.
I will always remember his advice.(肯定句與否定句間的轉(zhuǎn)換)→I will never forget his advice.
He had saved a lot of money,and he wished to buy a computer.(并列句與復(fù)合句的轉(zhuǎn)換)→ After he had saved a lot of money, he wished to buy a computer.
He said to the boys,“Please don’t make so much noise.” (直接引語(yǔ)與間接引語(yǔ)的轉(zhuǎn)換) →He told the boys not to make so much noise.
They decided to make every effort to protect those animals.(不同詞類間的轉(zhuǎn)換) →They made a decision (made up their minds) to make every effort to protect those animals.
He did not realize his mistakes.(不同詞類間的轉(zhuǎn)換) → He was not aware of his mistakes.
The meeting is very important.(不同詞類間的轉(zhuǎn)換) →The meeting is of great importance.
I told her what she should do next.(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為含不定式的簡(jiǎn)單句) →I told her what to do next.
I was deeply moved by his words.I made up my mind to mend my ways.(以分詞或從句合并簡(jiǎn)單句) →Deeply moved by his words, I made up mind to mend my ways.→As 1 was
deeply moved by his words,I determined to turn over a new leaf.
The child had no money.He had to beg.He would be starved.(以連詞等合并簡(jiǎn)單句) →The child had no money,so he had to beg, otherwise,he would be starved.
She wrote a letter,and thanked him for his help.(并列句轉(zhuǎn)化為含分詞的簡(jiǎn)單句) →She wrote a letter, thanking him for his help.
When night fell,we went home.(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為含獨(dú)立結(jié)構(gòu)的簡(jiǎn)單句) →Night falling,we went home.
Finally I found the girl.In front of her stood a boy.(簡(jiǎn)單句合并為復(fù)合句) →Finally I found the girl,in front of whom stood a boy.
In spite of the bad weather, they continued their football match.(通過(guò)將介詞短語(yǔ)轉(zhuǎn)化為從句,使簡(jiǎn)單句轉(zhuǎn)換為復(fù)合句) →Although the weather was bad,they continued their football match.
The child is too young to lift such a heavy box.(含不定式的簡(jiǎn)單句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) →The child is so young that he cannot lift such a heavy box.
Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother,for she was i11.(并列句轉(zhuǎn)化為含定語(yǔ)從句的復(fù)合句) →Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother,who was ill.
Then he met Mary,and she invited him to a party.(并列句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) →Then he met Mary,who invited him to a party.
A boy would be laughed at if he meant to do such a thing.(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) →A boy who meant to do such a thing would be laughed at.
He said he was busy,which was untrue.(復(fù)合句轉(zhuǎn)化為復(fù)合句) →He said he was busy,though it was untrue.
(四)注意將短文分段敘述,并理清段落之間的邏輯關(guān)系
如前所述,有些中學(xué)生對(duì)英文寫(xiě)作分段問(wèn)題存有錯(cuò)誤認(rèn)識(shí),以為英文寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)單,篇幅較短,只寫(xiě)一個(gè)段落即可;而有些中學(xué)生隨意或不當(dāng)分段,導(dǎo)致分段缺乏邏輯性。有鑒于此,中學(xué)生在英文寫(xiě)作中,應(yīng)注意培養(yǎng)和提高分段意識(shí),充分考慮文章的段落層次和各段邏輯關(guān)系,而不能僅滿足于語(yǔ)句基本通順,內(nèi)容基本完整,符合字?jǐn)?shù)要求。教師亦應(yīng)不斷提醒學(xué)生注意英文寫(xiě)作中段落層次和邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)的重要性。而作文評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)對(duì)此也應(yīng)有明確要求。
本文最先所述那篇初中范文,雖說(shuō)語(yǔ)句較為流暢,但缺乏段落層次感。若做如下分段處理,并稍加潤(rùn)飾,短文會(huì)更具可讀性。
It was Sunday,and Tom didn’t go to schoo1.So his father asked him to paint.
Tom’s father took out three apples and told Tom to draw as many apples as on the table.But Tom loved playing football and didn’t like painting.He believed it would be too hard for him to draw so many apples.So he thought and thought, and then he had an idea.He ate up two of the three apples, and then there was only one apple left on the table.As a result,he finished his painting and went out to play,leaving his work on the table.
When Tom’s father came back and saw the painting,he was surprised to find that there was only one apple on the table and that his son was no longer there.
四、范文評(píng)析
2006年高考英語(yǔ)試卷(浙江卷)
當(dāng)前,不少文學(xué)作品被改編成電影。有人選擇看電影,有人則喜歡讀原著。請(qǐng)你以“Film or book,which do you prefer?”為題,按照下列要點(diǎn)寫(xiě)一篇英語(yǔ)短文:(1)看電影:省時(shí)、有趣、易懂。(2)讀原著:細(xì)節(jié)更多,語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美。(3)我的看法及理由。
以下為一篇范文。
Film or book,which do you prefer?
Some of US think that it is better to see the film than to read the book in the original.The reason is that it takes less time to understand the whole story.Besides,the film is usually more interesting,and it is easier to follow.
Some others have just the opposite opinion.They think that they can get more detailed information from the original. Meanwhile,the language in the book is possibly more lively and beautiful.
Personally.I agree with the second view.Actually, I have more reasons for it.I think I can stay at home, reading quietly in a situation of may own,and what’s more,I am able to better understand the author's ideas.In a word,to read the original Work is better than to see the film based on it.
該短文在銜接詞和近義詞的運(yùn)用,多種句式表達(dá),以及短文分段方面,處理得也不錯(cuò)。茲簡(jiǎn)要評(píng)述如下:
1.注意使用銜接詞。文章第1段使用Besides;第2段使用Meanwhile;第3段則使用Personally,Actually,and what’s more,以及In a word。每段各句之間和不同段落之間
前后銜接自然、連貫。
當(dāng)然,第2段首句若改為Some others,however,have just the opposite opinion.則段落之間的連貫性和邏輯性會(huì)更強(qiáng)。
2.同義詞和近義詞使用方面亦有所考慮,但稍顯不足。如,末段第3句先使用can,隨后使用其同義詞組am able to,值得肯定。但另有一些地方頻繁使用相同詞匯,這令文章留下一點(diǎn)缺憾。如,3個(gè)段落中均使用think,其實(shí)后兩個(gè)段落中的think完全可換用其他同義詞。本文在前面“三、解決途徑”中開(kāi)頭部分的銜接詞或常用句式歸納部分,對(duì)此已有述及,不再贅述。
3.適當(dāng)考慮了表達(dá)句式的多樣化。如,第1段采用了賓語(yǔ)從句和表語(yǔ)從句;第3段則使用了由現(xiàn)在分詞充當(dāng)?shù)陌殡S狀語(yǔ),即reading quietly in a situation of my own,以及由過(guò)去分詞充當(dāng)?shù)暮笾枚ㄕZ(yǔ),即based on it。
4.短文分段,層次清晰。全文共分3段:第1段提出有些人的觀點(diǎn)和理由,第2段說(shuō)明另一些人的不同觀點(diǎn)和理由,第3段則論述作者本人的觀點(diǎn),即同意第2種看法,并進(jìn)一步給出了更多理由。文章層次感強(qiáng),結(jié)構(gòu)合理。
參考文獻(xiàn)
[1]中華人民共和國(guó)教育部.全日制義務(wù)教育普通高級(jí)中學(xué)英語(yǔ)課程標(biāo)準(zhǔn)(實(shí)驗(yàn)稿).北京:北京師范大學(xué)出版社, 2001.1
[2]何向明.現(xiàn)代實(shí)用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作大全.北京:中國(guó)文史出版社,1998.81
[3]非常英語(yǔ)研究開(kāi)發(fā)中心.非常英語(yǔ)考點(diǎn)透視一中考英語(yǔ)書(shū)面表達(dá).北京.外文文出版社,2006.139
[4]商小民.英語(yǔ)最新中考真題集.北京:外語(yǔ)教學(xué)與研究出版社,2006.116
[5]《學(xué)生雙語(yǔ)報(bào)》英禾圖書(shū)工作室.2006年高考英語(yǔ)真題匯編.北京:外語(yǔ)教學(xué)與研究出版社,2006.151
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