As an analyst in a bulge-bracket bank in the City of London, Steve knew that he was in for long hours spent churning through spreadsheets. What he was not prepared for, at a global bank that hires thousands of people, was loneliness.
史蒂夫(Steve)曾在倫敦金融城一家大銀行當(dāng)分析師，他從一開始就知道自己得花大把時(shí)間在電子表格上。他始料未及的是，在這樣一家有幾千名員工的全球銀行，他居然會感到孤獨(dú)。
The environment, says the 27-year-old, who prefers not to use his real name, was “toxic”. There was “rarely any support for new joiners, no mentorship” in the business.
這位27歲的年輕人不愿使用真名，他說，那種環(huán)境是“有毒的”，公司“很少為新加入的員工提供什么支持，沒有人當(dāng)導(dǎo)師”。
His youth was a factor. In his early 20s, being on a team with experienced professionals was “intimidating”. A snide comment from a manager would immediately make him feel “very small”.
他的年輕是一方面原因。那時(shí)他才20來歲，而團(tuán)隊(duì)其他成員都是經(jīng)驗(yàn)豐富的專業(yè)人士，這難免“令人心生畏懼”。來自經(jīng)理的每一句冷嘲熱諷，都會在瞬間讓他覺得自己“很渺小”。
Over time, his “self-esteem [took] a nosedive” and he started to isolate himself. “Better to not say a word if the slightest murmur could lead to embarrassment,” he says. That affected his performance at work and meant that he further cordoned himself off.
隨著時(shí)間推移，他的“自尊心嚴(yán)重受挫”，他開始把自己孤立起來?！叭绻÷曕止疽粌删涠伎赡苷衼黼y堪，那還是閉嘴為好，”他說。這影響了他在工作中的表現(xiàn)，也使他更進(jìn)一步封閉自己。
A 2011 study from California State University and the Wharton School confirms what Steve knew: that management should not treat loneliness as a private problem but rather one that affects the business.
加利福尼亞州立大學(xué)(California State University)和沃頓商學(xué)院(Wharton School)在2011年所做的一項(xiàng)研究，印證了史蒂夫的感受：管理層不應(yīng)把員工的孤獨(dú)感當(dāng)作一個(gè)私人問題，而應(yīng)該當(dāng)作一個(gè)會影響業(yè)務(wù)的問題來處理。
“An employee’s work loneliness triggers emotional withdrawal from their organisation,” the study says. “The results also show that co-workers can recognise this loneliness and see it hindering team member effectiveness.”
“員工在工作中產(chǎn)生的孤獨(dú)感會導(dǎo)致其在情感上疏遠(yuǎn)自己的組織，”該研究報(bào)告寫道，“結(jié)果還表明，同事們可以分辨出這種孤獨(dú)感，看到它在妨礙團(tuán)隊(duì)成員的有效性?！?/p>
Steve felt not only “lonely but increasingly helpless”. The people who manned the corporate employee assistance phones were based in another city and were disconnected from the main business. After four years, he decided to leave and work for a fintech start-up.
史蒂夫不僅“感到孤獨(dú)，而且越來越無助”。負(fù)責(zé)接聽員工幫助熱線電話的人在另一座城市，而且與公司主營業(yè)務(wù)毫無關(guān)聯(lián)。4年后，他決定離職，跳槽到一家金融科技初創(chuàng)企業(yè)。
He has since realised, through talking to his former colleagues, that he was far from alone in feeling lonely at work. Books have started to appear on loneliness in the past decade, such as Emily White’s Lonely: A Memoir; Olivia Laing’s The Lonely City; and, more academically, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John Cacioppo, the director of the University of Chicago’s Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience.
后來，通過與前同事們交談，他發(fā)現(xiàn)，在工作中感到孤獨(dú)的絕不只他一個(gè)人。過去10年中開始出現(xiàn)了一些關(guān)于孤獨(dú)的著作，比如埃米莉?懷特(Emily White)的《孤獨(dú)：自傳》(Lonely: A Memoir)，還有奧利維亞?萊恩(Olivia Laing)寫的《孤獨(dú)的城市》(The Lonely City)，以及學(xué)術(shù)性更強(qiáng)的《孤獨(dú)是可恥的：你我都需要社會聯(lián)系》(Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection)，該書作者約翰?卡喬波(John Cacioppo)是芝加哥大學(xué)(University of Chicago)認(rèn)知和社會神經(jīng)科學(xué)中心主任。
In the UK, the Campaign to End Loneliness is working to influence public policy on isolation and to develop an evidence base, while the Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness, launched in the wake of the Labour MP’s murder in 2016, continues her activism in this area.
英國有一項(xiàng)“終結(jié)孤獨(dú)運(yùn)動”(Campaign to End Loneliness)，致力于影響有關(guān)社會隔絕的公共政策，并打造一個(gè)證據(jù)基礎(chǔ)。還有個(gè)喬?考克斯孤獨(dú)委員會(Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness)，是在工黨議員喬?考克斯2016年遇害后成立的，該委員會繼續(xù)推進(jìn)她生前在該領(lǐng)域開展的活動。
It is important to distinguish between subjective loneliness and objective isolation, says Prof Cacioppo, who has been studying the causes and effects of loneliness for more than 20 years. Loneliness is a “lack or loss of companionship [which] happens when we have a mismatch between the quantity and quality of social relationships that we have, and those that we want”, according to the Campaign to End Loneliness.
卡喬波教授表示，有必要區(qū)分主觀的孤獨(dú)與客觀的孤立。20多年來，他一直在研究產(chǎn)生孤獨(dú)感的原因和后果。按照“終結(jié)孤獨(dú)運(yùn)動”的定義，“當(dāng)我們所擁有的社會關(guān)系的數(shù)量及質(zhì)量與我們所希望擁有的不匹配時(shí)，我們會感到缺乏或缺失陪伴，這就是孤獨(dú)”。
This means, says Prof Cacioppo, that one can feel socially isolated even when around friends, family and crowds — or co-workers. As Steve’s experience shows, you may be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of colleagues yet still feel lonely.
卡喬波說，這意味著，一個(gè)人即便身邊有家人朋友，身處人群中，或者有一大堆同事，也仍可能感到與社會隔絕。正如史蒂夫的經(jīng)歷所表明的，你身邊周圍或許有幾百名甚至幾千名同事，但你仍可能覺得孤單。
Despite their prevalence, social media are making people feel disconnected — “alone together”, in the words of Sherry Turkle, a psychologist and professor at MIT. “We think constant connection [through smartphones and email] will make us feel less lonely,” she writes. “The opposite is true.”
社交媒體盡管廣為流行，卻反而使人們感到隔絕——用麻省理工學(xué)院(MIT)心理學(xué)家雪莉?特克爾(Sherry Turkle)教授的話來說就是“一起孤獨(dú)”(alone together)。她寫道：“我們以為（通過智能手機(jī)和電子郵件）經(jīng)常聯(lián)系會使我們感覺沒那么孤獨(dú)，事實(shí)正相反?！?/p>
A forthcoming paper, co-authored by Prof Cacioppo, suggests that the relationship with technology is more complex. The internet may be used to enhance existing relationships and forge social connections but may also be a way of escaping “the social world” and thus increasing loneliness.
卡喬波與人合寫的一篇即將發(fā)表的論文則提出，人與科技的關(guān)系更加復(fù)雜。人們可能利用互聯(lián)網(wǎng)增強(qiáng)已有的關(guān)系和打造新的社會聯(lián)系，但也可能借互聯(lián)網(wǎng)來逃避“社交世界”，從而加劇孤獨(dú)感。
Adam Grant, professor of management and psychology at Wharton, has observed Americans are less likely to foster friendships at work, because they do not envisage sticking around. “We don’t invest in the same way. We view co-workers as transitory ties, greeting them with arms-length civility.”
沃頓商學(xué)院管理學(xué)及心理學(xué)教授亞當(dāng)?格蘭特(Adam Grant)注意到，如今美國人在工作中不那么可能交朋友了，因?yàn)樗麄儾淮蛩汩L干?！拔覀儾辉僖赃^去那種方式投入，我們把與同事的關(guān)系視為是暫時(shí)的，會禮貌地保持著距離。”
While the popular expression may be that “it’s lonely at the top”, researchers have found that it can be pretty lonely at the bottom. A paper published in the scientific journal Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes in 2015 found that employees with low levels of autonomy and power felt lonely. Adam Waytz, a psychologist at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, explains in the paper that “having power reduces the need to belong”. Power confers access to resources that give people the sense that they could easily affiliate with others and find connection regardless of whether or not this is actually the case, he says.
“身居高位不勝孤獨(dú)”的說法或許很流行，但研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，底層員工可能非常孤獨(dú)?？茖W(xué)期刊《組織行為與人類決策過程》(Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes) 2015年刊載的一篇論文發(fā)現(xiàn)，自主與權(quán)力級別較低的員工會感到孤獨(dú)。西北大學(xué)凱洛格商學(xué)院(Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management)的心理學(xué)家亞當(dāng)?韋茲(Adam Waytz)在論文中解釋說，“擁有權(quán)力會減少對歸屬感的需要”。他說，權(quán)力帶來利用資源的渠道，讓人感覺他們能輕易與人交往，找到交情，無論事實(shí)是否如此。
Virtual working is a more obvious cause of loneliness. Rachel, who worked until recently in corporate communications at a financial services company headquartered in New York, was the only one in her department based in the UK. “In the beginning I loved it,” says Rachel, who also prefers to remain anonymous. She was proud of being a pioneer and liked having a global role.
虛擬工作是引發(fā)孤獨(dú)感的一個(gè)較明顯原因。雷切爾(Rachel)原來在一家金融服務(wù)公司的公關(guān)部工作，公司總部在紐約，整個(gè)部門只有她一個(gè)人在英國工作，但是最近她已經(jīng)辭職了?！皠傞_始我很喜歡這份工作，”雷切爾說，她也不愿透露全名。那時(shí)她為自己走在時(shí)代前沿感到驕傲，并喜歡擔(dān)任一個(gè)全球性的職位。
But ultimately she became enveloped by loneliness. “I didn’t see anyone — my team were based in New York. I missed the office banter. On Fridays they would say they were going for a drink and I felt excluded.” Rachel felt that she was “out of sight, out of mind”.
但最終她被孤獨(dú)感包圍了?！拔艺l都見不到——我的團(tuán)隊(duì)在紐約，我懷念辦公室里的談笑，一到周五他們會說要出去喝一杯，我覺得自己不是團(tuán)隊(duì)的一份子?！崩浊袪栍X得大家“看不到她，也不會想到她”。
Every time the phone rang she turned into a chatterbox, desperate for contact. She had to remind herself to end the conversation before she pummelled the caller with her enthusiasm. When her son came home from school, “I would hug him like I hadn’t seen him for weeks.” After it took its toll on her health and productivity, she left the job.
每次電話一響，她就成了一個(gè)話嘮，渴望與人交談。她必須提醒自己適時(shí)結(jié)束談話，以免對方受不了她的熱情。兒子放學(xué)回家時(shí)，“我會緊緊地?fù)肀?，就像我好幾個(gè)星期沒見他了一樣”。孤獨(dú)感損害了她的健康，也影響了工作效率，于是她辭職了。
In retrospect, she believes that her team should have made more effort to include her. “They could have created more opportunities for banter and discussions offline,” perhaps by building five minutes of conversation into a team conference call.
回頭來看，她認(rèn)為她原來的團(tuán)隊(duì)?wèi)?yīng)該多做一些努力來幫助她融入團(tuán)體?！八麄儽緛砜梢詣?chuàng)造更多機(jī)會，在線下進(jìn)行談笑和討論”，比如說在團(tuán)隊(duì)電話會議中安排五分鐘的談話。
Shefaly Yogendra, a governance and risk consultant, also experienced virtual-office loneliness, this time working from home with teams in Asia and California. “Office banter is a social lubricant. It humanises people and makes them seem not like robots,” she says. “There is an existential quality to loneliness.” For her, the solution was not to find throngs of co-workers but to “calm the monkey mind” through yoga.
公司治理及風(fēng)險(xiǎn)顧問謝發(fā)里?約詹德拉(Shefaly Yogendra)也體會到了虛擬辦公室所帶來的孤獨(dú)感，與她合作的團(tuán)隊(duì)分別在亞洲和美國加州，而她在自己家中工作?！稗k公室談笑是一種社交潤滑劑，它使人富于人性，使他們看起來不像機(jī)器人?！彼f，“孤獨(dú)有一種與存在有關(guān)的品質(zhì)。”她的解決辦法不是為自己找到大批同事，而是通過練瑜伽“讓心猿安定下來”。
Sometimes working alone at home can be the answer to loneliness. Deborah Parietti, founder of Red Beetle Travelling Food, an ecommerce business selling Italian produce, says that she feels less lonely now than she did working in marketing for an employer.
有時(shí)候，獨(dú)自在家工作恰恰是一種克服孤獨(dú)感的辦法。Red Beetle Travelling Food是一家銷售意大利農(nóng)產(chǎn)品的電商企業(yè)，其創(chuàng)始人黛博拉?帕里埃蒂(Deborah Parietti)說，比起她在一家公司做市場營銷工作，她如今感覺沒那么孤獨(dú)了。
“It felt so silly to feel lonely when surrounded by loads of people. It’s hard to talk to a boss and say, ‘I feel lonely.’ It’s not tangible. Not something you can explain very well. It’s not an easy conversation to have.”
“身邊有許多人卻覺得孤獨(dú)，那種感覺真是太蠢了。你很難開口對老板說，‘我覺得孤獨(dú)’。那不是有形的，不是某種你能夠解釋得清的東西。那不是容易交流的話題。”
Today, while she is often alone, she feels she has the power to make changes if loneliness creeps in. “When I was in a workplace, it made me unhappy and [I] couldn’t switch off from that?.?.?.?discomfort and sadness. Now loneliness is a catalyst. I can go and meet people.”
如今，雖然她經(jīng)常獨(dú)處，但她覺得如果孤獨(dú)感在心底悄然滋生，她有力量去做出改變?！爱?dāng)我身處一個(gè)工作場所，孤獨(dú)感會讓我不快樂，而我無法擺脫那種……不適和悲哀。如今孤獨(dú)成了一種催化劑，我可以出門去見人?！?/p>
Even chief executives are vulnerable
首席執(zhí)行官也孤獨(dú)
António Horta-Osório, the chief executive of Lloyds bank, was signed off work for stress and told the Financial Times: “As a CEO these positions are quite lonely, so sometimes there are several things you cannot share with your team, because you have to motivate them. You don’t want your employees to have doubts about your leadership.”
勞埃德銀行(Lloyds bank)的首席執(zhí)行官安東尼奧·霍塔-奧索里奧(António Horta-Osório)曾因壓力過大而休病假，他告訴英國《金融時(shí)報(bào)》：“身為一名首席執(zhí)行官，這些職位是相當(dāng)孤獨(dú)的，有時(shí)候，有一些事情你無法與你的團(tuán)隊(duì)分享，因?yàn)槟惚仨毤?lì)他們。你不希望你手下的員工對你的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力抱有懷疑?！?/p>
A report on loneliness, co-authored by Professor Adam Waytz of Kellogg School of Management, found high-ranking employees were vulnerable to loneliness because they often have sole responsibility for laying off employees; reducing resources in budget restructurings; and “increasing organisational profit at a potential cost to the environment or to society”.
上文提到的凱洛格商學(xué)院的亞當(dāng)?韋茲教授與人聯(lián)合撰寫的一份關(guān)于孤獨(dú)的報(bào)告發(fā)現(xiàn)，高級別的雇員很容易產(chǎn)生孤獨(dú)感，因?yàn)樗麄兺?dú)自承擔(dān)著一些責(zé)任，比如裁員、在預(yù)算重組過程中減少資源，還有“以可能損害環(huán)境或社會為代價(jià)來增加本組織的利潤”。
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