1、結婚那么多年了，老婆在廚房唯一做過的事就是在我傷口撒鹽。
Having been married for so many years, the only thing my wife has done in the kitchen is to sprinkle salt on my wound.
2、能不能給我發(fā)一毛錢，免得以后我們一毛錢關系都沒有。
Can you give me a dime, so that we don't have a dime relationship in the future.
3、我中了五步蛇毒，現在走了四步了，麻煩借一步說話。
I've been poisoned by the five step snake. Now I've taken four steps. Please take one step to talk.
4、我不減肥是因為我想卡在你心里。
I don't lose weight because I want to be stuck in your heart.
5、世界上有兩種人最讓人著迷，一種是我這樣的，一種是像我這樣的。
There are two kinds of people in the world who are most fascinating, one is me, the other is people like me.
6、一機在手，天長地久，機不在手，魂都沒有。
A mobile phone in hand, forever, mobile phone is not in hand, soul is not.
7、一直等著幸福來敲門，等了這么多年，還沒來敲門，我家是不是住得有點偏？
Have been waiting for happiness to knock on the door, waiting for so many years, has not come to knock on the door, my home is not a bit partial?
8、總說我嘴硬，你不親一下，怎么知道軟不軟呢？
I always say I have a hard tongue. How can I know if I'm soft if you don't kiss me?
9、我發(fā)現一個問題，我喜歡和長得好看的人講話，怪不得我老是自言自語。
I found a problem, I like to talk with good-looking people, no wonder I always talk to myself.
10、地鐵上說禁止攜帶易燃易爆品，我默默下車了，因為我可愛到爆。
The subway said it was forbidden to carry inflammables and explosives. I got off the train silently because I was so cute.
11、如果你能讀懂我的奇奇怪怪，那你一定會像我一樣可可愛愛。
If you can read my strange, then you will be as lovely as me.
12、打敗我的不是天真，是天真熱。
It's not naive that beat me, it's hot.
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